His Darkness (bxb)

chapter fifty-five

please, please

don't leave me

━━━✦❘༻༺❘✦━━━

"Mia..." 

She won't even look at me - she hasn't for hours. It's scaring me. 

"Talk to me... please."

Mia's sat on the couch with her head in her hands, her quiet sniffles breaking my heart each time they echo in our quiet, dark apartment. I look up at her from where I'm sat on the ground, waiting for her to finally look me in the eyes while simultaneously fearing what I'll find in hers. 

I rest my hand gently on her knee. "Do you want some space? I can leave." Even though I really don't want to leave you like this right now. 

Finally, Mia gives me a response - she shakes her head gently, still not looking up at me. Her hands are now in her hair, gripping slightly at her ginger roots as she sobs. She's hysterical. Mia's never like this. 

"I don't know what to do," I admit, feeling useless. "Just tell me how to help."

"Just hold me," she pleads. 

Instantly, I'm sat next to Mia on the couch, my hand on her shoulder gently pulling her towards me. Her head collapses on my chest as she wraps her arms around my waist. My hands replace hers in her long hair, caressing it and occasionally pressing a kiss to the top of her head. 

"I hate seeing you like this," I whisper, resting my chin on her head.  

"It's my aunt." My heart drops, instantly assuming the worst. "The doctors noticed some signs. They're giving her a week at most."

"Fuck," I breathe. I pull Mia closer to me when I feel her shoulders shudder as another choked sob wracks her body. 

She pulls away from me a moment later and my heart clenches at the sorrow in her eyes. "I need to go see her before she... Fuck." Her head is buried in my shoulder again as she continues sobbing. I gently pull her onto my lap and she grips my shoulders like they're the only thing preventing her from drowning in grief. Maybe they are. 

I smooth my hand down her back and back up, tracing circles on the soft fabric of her sweater like she always did with me. Slowly, gradually, her cries soften and her breathing evens out again, but I keep holding her. 

Mia's eyes are wide, but distant when she pulls away. "I have to pack, I have to-"

"Mia, wait."

She climbs off my lap, anyways, her hands in her hair again, pulling slightly. In the darkness of the apartment, I watch as she looks around the room frantically, her mind somewhere else - planning, overthinking, worrying. 

"Mia," I say, standing up, "you don't need to anything right now. Just take your time."

"No, no, I need to go," she insists.

"It's nearly midnight, dear. There's nothing we can do now." I need to be the voice of reason right now. "How about this? I make you a cup of tea and we can sit together and book train tickets back to your hometown."

Mia just shakes her head. "They moved her to Toronto General Hospital a few weeks ago."

"We can drive, then," I say, reaching out to touch her again. "That's for tomorrow. For now, you need to breathe." Mia nods wrapping her arms around herself and I take that as my cue to pull her in for a hug. 

"Shhh," I whisper as I stroke her hair. "It's going to be okay. You'll be okay."

I take a few steps back before tenderly lowering us back onto the couch. We remain this way for a while, Mia sniffling loudly as I whisper sweet nothings I doubt she can even hear in her ear. Meanwhile, I'm planning the next couple of days in my head - book a hotel room for Mia, head to Walmart and pick up some things for the trip, fill the tank, help her pack, pick up my bags for camp the day after tomorrow.