His Darkness (bxb)

chapter ten

where's my mind?

maybe it's in the gutter, where i left my lover

what an expensive fake

my v is for vendetta, thought that i'd feel better

but now i've got a bellyache

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Anxiety pooled in my stomach as I knocked on the large wooden door. The only light illuminating the long corridor was the white moonlight coming in through the large windows.

"Come in," my professor's voice sounds from the other side. Gulping heavily, I open the door and step inside, closing it behind me.

"Noah..." I can hear the surprise in the older man's voice. "I wasn't expecting you to come. It's quite late."

"I'm sorry," I say, ignoring the way he's subtly checking me out. "I meant to come earlier, but I was at work all day."

Mr. Bardeau sighs. "That's alright, just make sure you make an appointment next time." I nod and he gestures for me to sit down. "What can I help you with?"

"I'm facing a bit of a moral dilemma and was wondering if you could provide some clarity."

"Don't you go to church for that?" he chuckles.

"I'm not a Christian, Professor Bardeau," I reply, and his smile drops in a heartbeat.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to assume." Then, he adds, "Please, call me Philip."

Now, I've got the upper hand. Good.

"That's alright - it happens all the time," I say brushing it off. "Anyways, here's the situation." Philip leans forward in his chair as if ready to listen intently. "I have a boyfriend and we've been together for a while now. We actually celebrate our first anniversary next week. Anyways," I gesture with my hands, "he's great and all, but then there's this other guy - let's call him Oliver - he's also really great-"

My passionate rambling is interrupted. "Mr. Simone, I'm not sure this is an appropriate conversation for you to be having with your professor."

"Please, call me Noah."

"Like I said," Philip sighs, "you can speak to a religious leader or one of the therapists on campus about your issues."

"But they wouldn't get it," I say leaning forward . "You get it... Don't you, Philip? You know what it's like to be with someone for so long, but then suddenly finding yourself wanting someone else." I glance at his wedding ring to enunciate my point.

"Mr. Simone, it's late and-"

"That's the point." I turn to face the door. "I can either walk away right now," when I look back into his eyes they are filled with lust, anxiety and hesitance, "or I can stay and you can answer my question. And then I might even answer some of yours."

Philip runs a tired hand over his face, sighing again. "Go ahead. Just don't make a habit of coming to my office this late in the night."

My lips stretch into a knowing smile. "Of course not." I inhale deeply before continuing, "Anyways, I just want to know, from a moral standpoint, what would be okay to do in my situation. Because this Oliver guy is amazing, but my boyfriend and I have a lot of history-"

"I think it's best that you talk to your boyfriend about how you're feeling," Philip says in a sharp tone and I can tell his frustration growing. "Is that all you wanted to ask?"

I offer a bright smile and nod. "I have one more question, though."

"And what's that, Noah?"

"Well, you had a little trouble answering it last week and I'm just curious to see if anything's changed." I lean back casually in my chair, feigning confidence.

"Noah-"

"What do you imagine when you're thinking of me, Philip?" If I wasn't slightly buzzed, I would be shying away from the intense eye contact I'm holding with the apprehensive man in front of me.

"I think there's a line that we're crossing-"

"It's too late for that, Philip," I say, leaning forward again. "You already admitted that you think of me," I shrug, "I think it's my right to know what you're thinking."

Philip's timid eyes now stare into mine with a new sense of resolve. "And if the answer scares you?"

I chuckle at the thought, "Very few things scare me, Philip."

My eyes follow my professor intently as he stands up and makes his way around the large desk and I anxiously play with the ring on my finger - the one Elijah got us as a matching pair. I look up at him with innocent eyes as his tall figure towers over me. My breath hitches in my throat when two thick fingers grab my chin firmly, tilting my head further up and holding it there. The hungry look in my professor's hooded eyes shocks me, but I gulp and stay calm as I anticipate his next move. His dominant aura excites me and adds to the calm buzz already flowing in my veins from the Molly I took earlier.

"I imagine you right here," he asserts. I don't recognise his voice - it's rough and low and makes me weak in the knees. "You'd be on your knees and looking up at me with those innocent eyes, sometimes you're bent over this desk and taking me so well... In my dreams, you're all mine, Noah."

My hands reach out as I hook my shaking fingers around the belt loops on Philip's dress pants, using my grip to pull him impossibly closer. Slowly, I get off the chair and lower myself till I feel my knees touch the cold floor, exposed through the rips in my jeans. I look up as my hands shift to undo his zipper to find Philip already looking down at me, his eyes dark with lust.

"Then, I'm all yours, sir."