Lady Paulson one shots...pt.2

Stay with me pt.4

Billie POV:

About a week goes by and Theo is having another session with Ellie. Ella had asked if she could stay with Theo in the guest house instead of staying at a hotel for the rest of this week before she has to go back to work and I couldn't bring myself to say no. Even after Cordelia and Ellie told me it was a bad idea. I just can't help ruining Theo and Ella's relationship. If y/n is really in there she'll come back to me. She always does.

I'm sitting on the couch looking through my camera roll at pictures and videos of y/n
I smile as one of my favorites pop up. I press play:

"Billie!" Y/n screams laughing hysterically as I spin her on a tire swing. "I'm getting dizzy!" I laugh and stop the tire. Y/n grabs onto my shoulders and hops off. She takes a few steps but her balance is off and she's leaning to one side. She falls and I bust out laughing "it's not funny!" She says as she lays on her back and covers her eyes. I lay down beside her and we look up at the sky. "I'm gonna throw up."Y/n says.

The video ends and I am sobbing. I replay the video a few times before my tears run dry. "I miss you" I sigh and lock my phone. I close my eyes and feel a tear roll down my cheek. There's a knock at the door so I wipe my tears and groan. I look in the mirror and compose myself. I open the door "Ella, hi" "hi, how are you?" I force a smile "I'm fine" she has this troubled look "do you have a minute to talk about Theo?" I nod "sure what about her"

I let Ella in and we take a seat on my couch. "Well first I'd like to apologize about imposing on you at your house but um, I really didn't know who else to go to." She clears her throat "um you know how you grow up imagining how it would be like to be in love, you picture your girlfriend of wife and not just the good times but the fights and the problems too." I nod "yeah, sure." She shakes her head "could you ever have imagined something like this happening? A girl you love wakes up one day and suddenly has no idea who you are." I shake my head slightly "no, never." She stares at me "really? Not at all?"

We stare at each other a few seconds "I-I really don't understand" I tilt my head and furrow my brows. Ella looks at her feet and sighs "I guess I was just so blown away about what happened to Dorothea that I-I really didn't notice it at first but" she breathes deeply "do you think it's a little odd she's staying in your guest house?" I make a confused face "what are you driving at?" Ella shakes her head "when I first came here my idea was a quick in and out, let Theo know she was forgiven, fill in a few memory blanks but when I saw this new Theo. This new Theo who wants kids who is ready to settle down...I uh I don't wanna let her go"

My eyes water and I gulp "what does that have to do with me?" Ella smiles sadly and stands "that's what I'm trying to find out." She walks towards the door. I shake my head "shouldn't you be asking Theo" she stops and faces me she huffs and smiles sadly "you're not gonna make this easy are you?" I shrug "I thought I just did." I gulp and we share a lingering stare before she glances the floor and walks out the door.
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The next day I'm sitting at the kitchen table finally reviewing emails from my producer when Theo walks in the house and comes up behind me "hey" she touches my shoulder. I jump and gasp "Theo! Please don't sneak up on me like that" I shut my laptop, stand up and follow her towards the island. "Sorry the door was open." She looks around the room and places her hands in her Jean pockets, just like y/n, before staring into my eyes "look I took Ella to a hotel last night and um I just wanted to come by to see if you were okay" I force a smile "I'm fine." I say quickly "you sure because you seem a little tense and frankly so did Ella."

I stare at her "n-no really I'm fine" she nods "okay. Well then I'll go back to the hotel" she heads for the kitchen door my heart drops and I find myself saying "why?" She stops mid step and looks at me confused "I mean she's been here almost her full two weeks so..." I huff out an anxious breath "what are you gonna do?" She shrugs her shoulders "I don't know it's weird I'm- I feel things when I'm with her. Nice things. You know her smell is familiar I recognize the feel of her hand when I hold it, you know it's...comfortable." I nod my head softly as my heart breaks "okay." I swallow "Billie, not everyone can have what you had with your wife, alright. And given my track record I'm not sure I'd be capable of that."

"Of course you are." I say too fast but sure. "Maybe, you don't know me as well as you think. Look, suddenly I feel like I should take a chance. You know get some feelings back, maybe that's progress, maybe that's a good thing." She shakes her head "maybe I should reach out with both hands." I stare at her as I'm feeling like I'm losing the love of my life. Theo runs her hand through her hair, just like y/n, before saying "alright" and walking towards the door. "Don't." I shift my eyes along her back. Tears welling in my eyes. Theo stops and turns around an annoyed and confused look on her face "don't what?" I rub my hands nervously on my pants "you can do better for yourself than...comfortable." I look at her pleadingly with my eyes. She blinks and takes a step towards me "or maybe getting some feelings back....hold out for more." She looks at me "what? What am I holding out for?" I glance at my feet before licking my lips and looking back up at her "everything." I whisper desperately.

She sighs "hold out for everything." I say as I nod and y/n purses her lips, shaking her head "you know that's easy for you to say...you had everything..." she turns and quickly walks out. My heart sinks and I stand there.
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The next morning I open my window needing some fresh air and see Theo placing bags in Ella's car. She looks up and sees me "Billie" I smile "oh hey Theo" she grabs another suitcase and says "Ella's downstairs and uh she wanted to talk to you first." I gulp "first?" She gives me a closed lip smile and turns to put the bag in the car. I watch with sad eyes before turning and making my way downstairs.

"Ella." I say as I'm reaching the last few steps. She turns and sees me "Billie, I uh I don't know why you've been so nice to me. Letting me stay here in your house. When I'm obviously.." I cut her off shaking my head "Ella-" she cuts me off "it's not easy to say this" she sighs "we have our whole lives ahead of us. And whatever your feeling right now- I hope you can understand why I did what I did." I look at her confused "someday maybe you'll see it was for the best." Y-you don't have to-" "the weirdest part is Theo is this whole other woman. She's a grown up who realizes she wants more. Talks about holding out, that's sort of amazing because...everything I've been holding out for. She is ready to give" I swallow back a sob, my heart sinking further and further with every word. Ella huffs out a chuckle "and I don't know why...but I feel I have you to thank for that" she gulps and I give her a teary eyed sad smile.

"No hard feelings I hope." Ella gives me a closed lip smile. I shake my head as tears well in my eyes "you deserve every happiness" I nod my head "thank you." She whispers before taking me in a gentle hug. I cling to her shoulders as my tears fall silently. She breaks apart and thanks me again before walking out the front door. I stand heartbroken before following her out the door and standing on my porch. I watch as Theo stands on the drivers side of the car and Ella places her purse in the passenger seat.

The two exchange a few words before I hear her say "bye" sadly. "Bye" Theo says as she opens the drivers door for Ella. I step closer and feel my heart in my throat. Ella shuts the door and Theo stands beside the car staring as Ella starts it up and watches as she drives away. I slowly walk down my porch steps and watch Theo take a deep breath and turn her head towards me. I stand anxiously, my breathing ragged, with my hands pressed against the front of my skirt. Theo tilts her head a bit before smirking and slowly walking towards me. I take a few slow steps towards her before she's arms length away.

"I remember, Billie Dean Howard" I tilt my head and furrow my brows as tears gently fall down my cheeks. Theo cups my cheek and places my head against her chest. I wrap my arms tightly around her body "your back" she kisses my head and strokes my back. "I always come back home"
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