All my life, I lived as a man with a half of everything. Half a parent, half a friend, half a student, half of a lover. I tried to make sure that they filled up, but when I did, the other half would just go away. A wild goose chase. At days, I convinced myself, it's all part of the process, one day soon I will reach, I will fill that cup while the other doesn't spill, if only I did my best, if only I known better. Because Life does not treat a soul like mine kindly. I had always sensed that Life, Karma or whatever you may call it, had always been playing tricks with me. Newton's third law taught me that, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, hence, when I try to get close to my Father, I would too be further than my Mother. When I try to find new friends, then my old friends would be distant with me. When I studied on a subject that I score poorly, the subjects that I'm somehow good at would then lessen. And as for my lover, when I love her, I too then couldn't bring myself to love me. I can complain all I want however this is how things work. A constant appearing wound that cuts through my skin as I tend to the others. And somehow, my efforts, my optimism, my hopes, shatters upon the hard cold ground. And as I kneel to pick up myself, another drops. And for a person to constantly experience this, it is proven to be easier when they relapse. Though why do I feel heavier? How do I make it easier for me to not feel sadder? What should I really be doing? Who do I consult since everyone seemed to not understand this unknown emotion? Again, as I contemplate more and more, I know some part of is drifting away, for me to again, chase another half and have the other half slips.
