Eternal Desires(On Hold)

44

"ummi."farhana call gaining her daughter's attention.
"You need to rest."she say and ummi Shake her head.

"I'm waiting for jalal,
He will soon be here."ummi say and her mum sigh.

People grief differently for ummi she find it hard to believe jalal is no more, she do just sit all day convincing herself that she's waiting for jalal to come pick her so they can go back home, it's been a long 3weeks for farhana, yet again after years of happiness she find herself in another tense emotional rollercoaster, all the effort and hardwork she puts to build up her marriage crumble again, from her husband cheating even tho it's long ago but the fruit of his forbidden relationship is now part of the family she thought she secure, there's her son who she have no idea where he is in the world, she doesn't want to think much about the little boy her daughter is carrying because it breaks her apart, how everything just wobble around and turn into this.

"Mama-nah."farhana call sitting next to her daughter, she grab her hand and release a heavy breathe.

"Mummy why me?
Why do i have to be so unlucky?
I love jalal, alot
Why him?"ummi say crying and her mum just hug her.

"Somethings just happened farhana and we might be hurt for a lifetime but it has a reason, every step and scenario in our life was planned by the almighty, i don't know how you are feeling,
I don't know how long you need for you to heal from all this but i want you to know I'm here for you always,
I don't want you to keep doing this to yourself,
The better you get to accept the reality the quicker and easy for you to heal." Farhana say with a pause.

She doesn't even know what to say to her daughter, even she her marriage is a wretched at this point, if not for all the things going on in her life most especially her daughter, she wouldn't still be with huzaif, she believe huzaif will never change, that's the type of man he is, looking for any slight opportunity to cheat on her, after all this years, she try and convince herself what happened between him and kamilah was a mistake and then this, he have a daughter, goodness knows how many more women he cheated with and maybe more children, she shake off all the thoughts away and look down at her daughter who's playing with her fingers, A habit she's still find odd how she comfortably do that even as grown up.

"How's Amir?"ummi ask and farhana release a heavy breathe with a shrug.

"He's fine,
He went to the creche,
Ummi dear be strong for me."farhana say and ummi look up at her mother.

She doesn't have to look long to see the emptiness in her eyes, since the discovery of firdaus she's been like that, even tho she try so hard to look okay, ummi knows her mum isn't ok, and she wonder if her parent's marriage will survive with all this that's going on, her dad once told her
"your mum have an unforgiven heart, sometimes I'm scared of upsetting her" he said.

"Are you still mad with dad about firdaus?"ummi ask and farhana look up at her daughter.

"Ummi,
Just rest i will come check on you later,
I will sent them with your food, make sure you eat." She say and stand up.

Ummi watch until her mum exit the bedroom before she turn her gaze back to the potrait on the floor and pick it, she wonder why most good memories doesn't last, she decide to take a nap, it's the only way she can escape from all of this.

*************
Ummi

I wake up to the loud knock coming from my bedroom door, my eyes flutter open and my legs instantly come down from the bed.