Eternal Desires(On Hold)

16

"you don't have a single right to ask me anything, you keep repeating you are pregnant for me?
A pregnant that i can't even remember anything of,
How is that my business,
Look ummi or whatever it is your name, if you want to leave then that's the door, it's open all you have to do is open it as wide as your fat body can pass through and leave, I'm sick of your nagging."fu'ad yell frustratedly at ummi who's staring at him.

It has been going on like this for the past two days since they got back from the wedding anniversary, for ummi she's fed up with fu'ad eccentric and mean words, he's always nagging unnecessary about whatever she does which she find really upsetting.

"Don't shout at me fu'ad."ummi say and fu'ad hiss.

"Or what?
This is my house and i have every right to do as i pleased if you can't stay then leave, beside what are you even gaining by staying with me,
Is not that we are going to be together or something,
Stop dreaming ummi,
Wake up,
I don't love you, to be sincere with you I'm actually planning on getting back with Raziqah."fu'ad say and ummi release a heavy breathe of exhaustion and enter the kitchen.

"That's your problem to deal with fu'ad,
If you marry Raziqah she's not staying on my head so that won't affect me in anyway, it's because you are seeing me everyday with you in this house,
A time will come where by you will need me and i won't be there,
You lost a part of your memory not your senses, the only reason I'm tolerating all this your behavior is because of the good times we've shared an.............

"Good time?
Stop deceiving yourself because I'm not going to ever yearn for anything from you especially attention or love,
This so called pregnancy you claimed to be mine is the only reason I'm overlooking somethings and letting you even stay in this house if not
"Nikam sakin ki zanyi dan nasan babu abunda zanyi da ke"he say the last part with soo much disgust that make ummi look up from the pot she place on stove.

"If you want you can divorce me fu'ad,
This pregnancy shouldn't be a reason you will hide onto,
It's not like I'm enjoying staying with you now."ummi say staring at fu'ad.

She is confident no matter how insane or upset fu'ad is with her there's a little part of him that still care or so she thought, she know he can never divorce her nor send her out because regardless the situation she know he cares or so she want to believe he do.

"Toh kije na sake ki."fu'ad say and ummi look up abruptly from the pot to him, she open her mouth several times to say something but couldn't find a single word to say.

"D.di.... divorce."ummi say the word looking strangely at fu'ad who is looking at her without a care.

"Yes divorce,
Or do you want me to write it down for you?
Go...leave my house please."he say with a hiss and exit the kitchen as ummi watch his silhouette disappear into the parlour.

She look around the kitchen confuse and glance at the wall clock showing 3:40pm and shake her head in disbelief, now she's sure, fu'ad doesn't remember a single thing about her and it's as if the slight emotional connection she thought they shared is a figment of her own imagination, she turn off the stove and exit the kitchen, heading straight to her bedroom with a rapidly beating jittery heart.

************************
Ummi's pov

I couldn't leave my husband house, I did the only thing i can, I cry, then call fu'ad mum and narrated everything to her, it's not even up to an hour after that she arrived but fu'ad left, she was furious and upset with him, she try reaching out to him but his phone was switched off which she believed it's intentional since he knows they will definitely try to call him, after agonizing hours of waiting his mum decide that i should come with her back to the house, I honestly don't want to go but then i don't want to tell my parent about any of this my marriage is not even half a year, if something like this reaches to grandpa Amir is not going to end so well, I'm currently sitting on the prayer mat in fu'ad mum bedroom, I finished my Isha prayer but have been rooted there for a while just thinking about my life.

"Aunty ummi."the familiar young boy call gaining my attention.

"Yes Kareem."I answer standing up as he enter the bedroom.

"Daddy is calling you,
Ya fu'ad is here,
Mum was just telling me what happened."my brother in-law say worriedly and i smile weakly at him.

"Daddy is upset he's in a lot of trouble,
He doesn't have any reason to do what he did,
Especially now that you are pregnant,
I pray daddy will ask him to stop working and work on his anger issues."Kareem say and i chuckle as we exit the bedroom, we walk through a small lobby then appear on a foyer before maneuvering to a glass door and take few staircase that lead to a small parlour.

The architect is a genius.

"Here."Kareem say and enter the parlour.

"Sallamu'alaikum."I say as my eyes settle at my husband who's sitting on the soft, lush carpet, his legs fold in his front, he reminds me of an obedient student.

"And you?
Is there anything i can help you with?"my father in-law ask and Kareem quietly leave before the elderly man turn his gaze back to me.

"Ummi how are you?"he ask my head hanging low staring at the floor.

"Fine abbbah."I say and there's a long pause, I peek through my lashes at fu'ad and he's coiling his foots a habit i noticed he does whenever he's nervous about something.

"Magaji."my father in-law call the name i still find odd to call someone like my husband with.
"Since you've grow up in this house, have you ever heard anyone in this family divorce there spouse?"his calm yet menacing voice ask and my husband clear his throat.

"No abbbah,
I'm sorry a..........

"Nobody want to hear your opinion here,
You don't have any reason to divorce this girl,
What has she done wrong?
Magaji I'm really disappointed in you,
You think you can get a decent and better wife in this worldly world we are in today?
You where happy magaji" don't let this accident makes you do something you will end up regretting in the future, just because you don't have recollection of the moment you've shared with ummi doesn't give you the right to mistreat her,
This is an opportunity for you to make another beautiful memories together,
She's pregnant fisabillilallah can't you atleast be nice to her even because of that?"my mother in-law say before the place fall silent again, I don't know why but this is all too much and overwhelming for me.

I also want to be angry with fu'ad, If i can i will beat him but then, none of this is his fault, it's just the almighty testing me at the most crucial way to say how strong my iman is.

"Magaji,
You are the eldest in this family and you know very well than to be a role model to your younger one's,
This is wrong and unacceptable,
Ummi is kind and thoughtful enough that she didn't even call or go to her parent, this should not repeat itself magaji,
You will go back home with your wife,
Take care of her because she's carrying my first grandchild,
You should also keep in mind that you have elapsed a single string of your marriage,
remaining two , you are Muslim magaji, I trained you better for you to know this is wrong,
Ummi doesn't deserve any of this,
Please..... I'm begging you now magaji,
Everything happen for a reason,
Ummi love you it's only fair if you return that love than wasting your time on something that will end up hurting you."my father in-law say and there's a long pause.

"Ummi be patience please,
I know this is all too much for you and thank you for not taking this to your parents."my father in-law add and the place once again fall silent.

"Abbbah i want to marry a second wife."is the word that comes out from my husband house and i look up at him, it's the first time i raised my head since i sit in this tasteful furnished parlour.

"Yo.........

"Mummy is fine,
I won't say I'm happy but if that is what fu'ad want now I'm ok with it,
Everyone in life walk on there own path of qadr, I just want him to promised me he will wait until i give birth."ummi say staring at fu'ad who's gaze is on the floor.

"I promised."he grumble and my father in-law begin a long talk on responsibilities and alot more things about sacrifices couples make in marriage, after about tiring 2hours we bid them goodbye and i leave with fu'ad that night, with a lot of hope that this nine months of my pregnancy will reunite and bring us back together.