Eternal Desires(On Hold)

26

Ummi's pov
Sitted in my bedroom staring at the little figure unaware of what is going on in this painful world i sigh, fu'ad took one of the baby, he took baby Amir and left me with "fu'ad jnr"
It's the most painful decision i have to make so far, the news of my divorce is all over town and Internet, I feel so exhausted and tired of everything going on in my life.

"Ummi."my mum call entering the bedroom and i just stare blankly at her.

"You can't continue like this,
Ummi everything that happened in our life it's for the best,
Sometimes even the most painful decision we have to make turn out to be a blessing in disguise."my mum say and i just stare at her.

"He's barely 2months mum,
This is unfair."I say and my mum slightly path me on the shoulder.

"Ummi atleast you have this one with you,
Jalal is here to see you."my mum say and nod.

It's barely 3weeks since i left fu'ad house, I cannot even believe my marriage isn't up to a year and it's over, sometimes how things started beautifully isn't what sustained it, sure enough Allah SWT is the best planner, perhaps the only reason for directing fu'ad into my life was because of this two boys, I stare at the little boy before picking my veil and exit with my mum talking about visiting my grandparents.

"No, ummi barely travels she's very scared of heights."my brother voice say as i walk down the stairs and he's deep in conversation with jalal.

"Ya Abbbah."I call gaining there attention and my twin brother look up.

"I'm just coming back from aunty Abla's house,
she gave me this to bring it to you."he say pointing the blue back and nod.

"Okay man,
If you are still in town we can hangout some other time."my brother say and they exchange a weird brotherly handshake before he exit the parlour.

I sit on one of the couch next to jalal and glance at him, it's the second time he's visiting since after i am back to my parents house.

"How are you doing?"he ask and i nod.

"The baby?"he ask and i nod.

I'm honestly not in the mood to talk,
A part of me don't want to believe that whatever chemistry building up between me and jalal is possible, there's just soo much going on in my life right now that he will be the very last person i will even want to start a relationship with, I just want to take care of my son and that's all.

"Ummi,
I understand the circumstances of how everything turns out,
I'm sorry if you think I'm responsible for your broken marriage,
I was just doing the right thing and.......

"Jalal is fine, I don't want to talk about that, whatever it is that happened i believe is part of my qadr."I say curtly
and sigh.

"When are you finishing your iddah?"he ask and i give him an uncertain look but didn't say a word.

Regardless how much jalal try to start a conversation that evening i find myself feeling detached from him.

"******************

"Magaji this boy deserve to be with his mum, breastfeeding him for atleast 6momths before you collect him,
Why are you complicating everything?"his mum say but fu'ad just stare at the little boy crying  as his mum try to feed him the formula.

"Why?
Obviously everyone thinks it's my fault, I love my wife even do i have never say it to her,
Mistakes happened but nobody wan.....

"Magaji everyone wants you to be with ummi but we just cannot allowed that,
You've made a wrong decision and you will bare the consequences,
Exercise some sabr perhaps the almighty have reason for all this."his mum say and fu'ad just shake his head.