WARNING: There is a reference to rape in this chapter.
Saul loved being outside at night. The darkness was comforting. Cool air wrapped around him like an embrace. It made him feel alive. He liked when the street lights came on and when some roads became so empty that he could walk down the middle of them without being hit.
He liked how quiet it could get. But he also liked it when it was busy and he had to weave his way between herds of people. Saul often wondered where they could possibly be going at that time of night. Usually they were all dressed up. On the way to a club or a party or a concert. Sometimes he found it strange that all these other people were living lives just as vivid and complex as his. It was a nice thought. Settling. Made his problems seem trivial. Bought him back to earth. Shrunk his ego. He never wanted to end up like Axl. Saul didn't think anybody was as important as Axl thought he was.
"The moon looks lovely tonight, don't you think?" Marcy wasn't watching where she was walking. Instead her chin was tilted up and her eyes were trained on the sky. There weren't any stars out. The city lights were much too bright.
Saul looked up at the moon then over at Marcy. It was pretty but she was beautiful. Even if her hair was messy and her lips were swollen and bruised from kissing Axl. Marcy had dark circles under her eyes and she was wearing the same clothes as the day before.
Saul had long since come to the conclusion that those little things only made her better. He didn't think there was a single unattractive thing about Marcy. Her freckles were mysteries. Each one told a story about a summer long ago. Her eyes reminded him of kaleidoscopes. They were forever changing and completely unpredictable. Her hair was on fire, just like her mind. Saul knew he was lucky to know a girl like Marcy. There was nobody in the world who could possibly compare to her.
"Is something wrong? You've been acting kinda weird tonight." Marcy thought maybe Saul was still annoyed at her for getting high the other night. She'd been so sure he had forgiven her. She must have been mistaken.
Saul took a while to reply. Marcy watched as he reached into his jacket pocket. He fished around for a moment before pulling out a squashed looking cigarette and a well-loved lighter. Saul lifted the smoke to his mouth and rested it between his lips. He held the lighter up with one hand and shielded it from the wind with the other. Marcy was glad his hair was tied back. Sometimes she thought it might catch on fire. It never did (although it probably should have at least once by now).
Saul shoved the lighter back into his pocket and took a long drag from his cigarette. Marcy found herself walking so close to him that their hands brushed. She pulled away and hugged her arms around herself but didn't take her eyes off Saul. The smoke was mesmerizing as it curled out from between his lips when he exhaled.
"I'm fine Marce, just tired." He said finally.
"Oh, okay." Marcy knew that wasn't it. She was close enough to Saul to be able to tell when something was up. They were connected, in more ways than either of them would ever understand.
Saul and Marcy kept walking for a while longer without talking. It wasn't an uncomfortable type of quiet, rather one that let them just enjoy the night and each others company. Marcy stuck to Saul's side. If she stood close enough she could breathe in some of his smoke. Every now and again their shoulders would brush. It made Marcy's body tense and her skin prickle. She felt a sinking in her stomach. Axl's voice echoed in the back of her head. 'I love you'.
Marcy bit her lip and looked up at Saul. The orange street lights cast shadows over his face. Marcy had always wanted to touch Saul. Not liked she touched Axl. She wondered what his body would feel like beneath her fingertips and if his lips were as soft as they looked. She could barely remember what his hand had felt like when their fingers were intertwined. Marcy wished she could look into his pretty eyes forever. She loved his smile, it was so bubbly and warm and genuine. And his laugh. Nothing made her happier.
