Captive | The Walking Dead |

98

Letting go and being honest with her past was the second hardest thing Isabella had done in her life, but after she found it easier to hang around with the group. Before, she always found herself finding excuses so she could exclude herself and leave without raising suspicion.

No matter what community she would go visit, they'd always offer her a place, even some hours to hang around and she'd always decline. Yet now when they did, she didn't let herself run away. She no longer hid, no longer ran away and she loved it.

It had only been four days since she opened up and in that time she went to those she loved and talked with them. Told them the truth, told them why she had been acting the way she had. Why she excluded herself from everyone for long.

And of course, as any loving family would, they all supported her. They let her know they cared for her and that none of them blamed her, either for her actions on the road nor after the war. They all understood where she came from, none of them looked at her like she was a monster and that alone made her think that maybe there was hope for her.

She still had a long road ahead if she ever wanted to redeem or humanize herself once more; She knew that shit happened and people hardened after enduring all they did but she didn't want to become like that. She liked being the one who had a sense of humor, who could crack jokes and cheer up the group when they were in tough spots.

She wanted to go back to that; she didn't know how long it'd take but she'd make it her mission to go back to that.

She knew the first step in finding a way to go back to how things were before even slightly was by letting go of the past. She knew she had to let the past of Negan go. She had to stop seeing him, stop letting him hold that power over her. By stopping her visits with him, it'd be a step in the direction of letting her past go. She just had no clue what she'd do when Maggie would set the plan in motion; she wanted Negan dead but if she was going to try moving on, she knew she had to leave things alone.

But that would be a problem for her future self. For now, her current self would have to deal with seeing Negan for the last time.

She sucked a breath as she stood outside the door leading into the cell.

"You okay? You don't have to do this right now you know?" Rick asked as he would wait outside.

"I'll be okay. You don't have to check up on me."

"Isa, we're still family. I'm always going to check on you," he said.

"Thanks," she softly replied.

She wanted to be upset at him, hell she had every right to. She wanted to snap at him and tell him that this entire situation was because of him. But doing so would take away all her efforts in changing, arguing with him would do nothing for her at this point.

She then sucked in a final deep breath before going down the steps into Negan's cell and she saw Negan lying on his bed.

"You up asshole?" she silently asked as she got closer to his cell, but stayed some feet from the bars.

"I am now," Negan mumbled as continued to lay with his eyes closed. "Aren't you a few days early?"

"I am. Because I'm stopping these visits. I'm not going to visit you again, not going to recount the shit you put me through because I'm moving on."

"Moving on? Finally grow some balls hon?" Negan chuckled as he opened his eyes and sat up, looking at her. "Think you're the shit by doing this?"

"No. But it makes me better than you because I'm not letting you fucking win."