Behind this mask

Depression.

So much has gone on... It's been 2 days since we got back here. I had the unfortunate pleasure of having to meet his parents and them sensing that I was his mate you know...While he was telling them.

My mate is a two years older than me. It's kinda weird, he turns 19 this year and I turn 17. Tomorrow is my birthday and I'm freaking out because werewolves normally shift when their 17 and nobody has a clue to what my wolf is going to look like... Tomorrow is the day Devon is going to tell everyone I'm his mate. I'm scared shitless for it.

When I shift my mate bond with him will be stronger or so I hear. Well I hope I won't be so "head over heels " that Maddy can't snap me back to reality. I have to give her permission to lock me in a room till I start making sense. It's the only way. I've lived my life without a man controlling it since I was 4 and my Dad left so I've been independent from men. For awhile.

I mean.. I did date people but. If they got controlling I would leave them. Devon on the other hand "I'm destined to be with". I'm scared because as soon as I shift his wolf is going to want to mark me and I'm hearing about what comes after marking. I'm going to be 17 I don't want to be a mom.

What do I even say to my mom? "Oh hey mom I got a boyfriend who is two years older then me and he knocked me up and now we are having babies" yeah right.. She would beat my ass. "YOU WHAT? YOURE COMING HOME RIGHT NOW YOUNG LADY" yay my life ends there.. I die the end.

There is not a alternate ending where everyone is all happy about this. "Oh hey mom by the way I'm half werewolf and half witch haha and my boyfriend is a werewolf and he is the Alpha of his pack and I'm his Luna so basically I'm his bitch and we have to make babies". and then my mom says "oh why didn't you tell me in the first place ?"

Yeah.. That shit isn't happening. It's more like ... "First you get pregnant then you start to make shit up? I knew it was a bad idea to let you go to school there."

I feel like everytime I wake up life says "Welcome to hell we've been waiting for you arrival for quite some time" and then I cry myself back to sleep because life fucked me over like what Devon is going to try to do to me.

Shit when did I get such dark humor? Oh wait.. When I met his parents I will never forget the look on his fathers face. "That? Your mates with that? She isn't even full blooded! The moon goddess made a mistake. YOU DON'T BELONG HERE." Oh that was my favorite part. That's partly why I've been here in my room crying for the past two days.

I teleported here before anyone could even say a word to me and I locked my door so needless to say I have everything I need. Except Maddy.. I feel bad I haven't even talked to Maddy. I wonder how she feels but I can't leave this room. I have everything I need! I will never run out cause I'll just poof it up.

That's it I'll just poof it up that's what I'll do. I'll just teleport Maddy in can't be too hard right? I just have to know where she is..

• Talk to mate

No Kat. I don't want to talk to him or his "wonderful" up bringers.

• It wasn't his fault.. How were we supposed to know his dad would be so malice?

No I'm not going to talk to him. I'm just going to stay here. I feel like that maroon 5 song. Cause I'm seriously never gunna leave this bed.

• Atleast talk to Maddy you haven't talked to anyone it's not healthy.

I've talked to you.

• We are the same.

Why should I? I like it here everything is so comfy. It's not like I haven't eaten or had anything to drink.