Two Souls, Many Storms

S.W.A.K.

After we hear the verdict and new bandages are put on and we are alone Shannon makes a few more lewd comments or gestures rather and nods off. The double finger, the jerk off motion and how she bets his wife thinks of a woman when there banging because he would not know what a G spot was if it slapped him in the face were among a few. She does not mean it, just she is pissy. She sleeps a lot and that's to be expected. I set up my laptop and do some work till around nine. Dinner is  burgers and fries and milk and sleep comes easy knowing Shan is okay.  

Our private room is nicer then expected. Shannon is gaining her voice back and I have to try to keep her quiet. She is pissed about the catheter and that is her biggest complaint. Notice I did not say only just biggest. They agree to remove it if she uses a toilet beside the bed. OH boy the things she said after they left were far from nice. I am glad the door is heavy. I have to remind myself  I know she doesn't mean it just she is angry at being so dependent on others.

She is able to get the doctor to allow a shower but only if she stops the attitude and fallows direction. She growls but agrees. Its not fun either. Especially for me. I swear she soaked me just so she could watch me change. She did not get her wish. Plan backfired honey because I ran across the street to do it.  I cut the leg off a pair of sweat pants and help her into clean underwear and they are girlie too, take that smart ass. She was far from impressed. 

The gown is replaced with a large t shirt, no bra.  She seems okay with it for now just demands to wear one if her nipples show.. She is even happier when they remove the iv's but now she has to have shots instead. The first one makes me wince. Its thick and I can tell hurts. I hold her hand and wish I could take it for her. 

After its done we play card games and watch movies in between naps. Each day she gets stronger and wants to do more. On day six  after having her breathing tube out she tries out some crutches but she is still too weak. On day8she asks to go for a ride in the wheel chair and we eat lunch in the cafeteria. She is on a regular diet and seems to enjoy her mac and cheese. She is almost kid like at times. Its cute and I have some really good pictures. 

Its me Shannon and I made it. Sort of. My leg is fucked but I'm alive. Its the day they are breaking me out of this joint. Rowdy is here with a van and I am dressed and ready to go. Tally is riding back to Florida with me and then I don't know what's going to happen between us. 

I have hopes and dreams for us but they are just that. I have to see a specialist once a week and then in six weeks have my hardware removed. The trip home is hard and painful to say the least but those pills they want me to take are not going to happen. I will take what I need not what they tell me I need. Too many good people have gone down that rabbit hole and I refuse to be one of them.

The Fema trailer that I am told is mine is nothing special but its clean, dry and not the hospital. Once I get settled in bed I get a few visitors but Tally keeps the visit short because the smallest movements make me tired. She is never far from me and hovers like a mother hen. I love the attention but know she is still doing her job to help find homes and recourses for others. 

Our club house property has been turned into a sea of about ten or so trailers. We also have a few in tents and that's there choice. Those that left are not coming back for a bit and being as we are starting over its going to be awhile. We are having a sit down Cabinet meeting tomorrow to discuss the rebuild. 

We will rebuild but in what manner is up for decision making. I have a few ideas and write them down so I don't forget. I have noticed that my memory is shit but was told that should improve over time. Just another issue I have to face. 

Tally helps me do everything. Eat, go to the bathroom, get to the couch. Its embarrassing but I deal with it. She is taking her time to be with me. She could have ran away from me but instead ran towards me. She sleeps next to me in the queen bed but put blankets between us so she did not hit my leg. We held hands the whole night, our heads touching. 

The meeting goes well. The idea we all have are written down on a white board and we are all asked to think about them before we vote. The one I am most excited about is that those that want could build a house of there own. That is one I am behind. There are a lot of us who want family's and personal space. Me being one of them.

That night I ask Tally what her plans where and she told me she was not sure but she was going to keep her job. I asked her not about that but about us? She looked away and I got scared but then she began to talk.

"Shan, when you went missing I thought I had lost you. I went out against Rowdy's demand to stay at camp but honestly I didn't care. She will always be my friend but you? Well you will always be more. Every little sound I swear was you. I came back to not get the news I so desperately wanted. When I finally got word that you were found I could not get to you fast enough and when i did get to you I lost my shit. I felt like I was going to die. You were so pale and they had so many machines hooked to you and then off you went in the copter. Rowdy was a godsend to me but the only god I wanted was the one that was going to listen to my prayers and pleas to make you live. Then I finally got to you and we were told nothing for a long time, hours felt like days. I would gladly have ripped doors off hinges and flipped tables and take out any security they may have had but I had to calm down." She tells me and I go to speak but she starts again.

"Then I finally got to you and you were so sick. Three or four Iv's and so many different meds. The tube in your throat making you breath. Cords attached to your fingers and a blood pressure cuff. There were red lights and green lights and beeps and clicks and the whoosh of the ventilator. Your hand was so cold but its the only piece of you I could touch. You smelled like dirty water and disinfectant. You had so many scrapes and bruises. Your leg was a mess  and black and blue. After the surgery and lots of antibiotics I was told you were going to make it but that was not good enough for me. I wanted Shannon back not just your body. It was long. By the time I heard my name whispered threw those beautiful lips of yours I swear to god Shannon if it was one more day I had to wait I'm not sure mentally how I would have done it but I would have waited years for you." By now she was crying and I was doing the same. I clutched her hand in my lap and let her talk.

"You asked about us but I don't have answers. I don't know how you feel but I know that I don't ever want to leave you again." She tells me looking me in the eyes. I nod.

"So does that mean you will stay? Switch chapters? Be with me?" I ask her. She nods and I lean into kiss her. They say seal it with a kiss and we do a few times. Knowing she is staying makes a few of my prayers come true. God if your listening, thank you for answering me.