Heartstopper oneshots/ requests

Our Daughter P2

Final part mati_A10

Tw: heavy theme/ description of self harm, mention of bullying, talk/ description of eating disorder

Shell's breathing was jagged by the time she made it to her dresser on the other side of her room. It's where she kept the box that had her necklace in it. The one that her dad bought her for her 14th birthday.

The box once housed a beautiful purple birthstone on a delicate silver chain. When she got it, her face lit up and she felt like a grown up. Holding it to her neck as her dad fastened it for her. It rested perfectly on her chest, the small silver chain waving over her collar bones. She closed the box back up and had treasured it ever since because it housed her first proper piece of jewellery.

Now, that same box was a little worn at the corners from shoving it out of sight and the necklace no longer rested there. The sponge lay empty, its sad slits dormant from the delicate chain.

The box had a more sinister use now. Lifting the sponge revealed two pencil sharpener blades, one slightly rusted from washing the blood off it. The other in perfect condition, ready to take the place of the rusted one. Shell already knew this of course, but she couldn't see the rust on the blade now. Her eyes were too full of tears and she tried hard to control her breathing, being careful not to shake too much. She didn't want to lose the blades in the carpet.

"I've failed" She whispered, taking the rustier blade between her fingers and letting it slice through the first few layers of skin on her finger tips. She'd pick the remaining skin off later.

As she took the blade to her skin her mind swam with all sorts. She thought about her dads of course, how much she loves them and how much she just wanted them to believe everything was okay. They worried about her enough already, they didn't need this too.

Then she thought about how stupid she was for letting all those kids at school get to her. They are just kids after all, they hadn't seen half the things Shell had. Maybe some of them didn't even know what it was like to be truly loved by your parents. Shell did and here she was betraying them.

More tears dripped off her face and onto her forearm. Cuts from a few nights ago lay there, scabbed over but still red around the edges. Sometimes she picked the scabs off when they were like this just to feel the sting and know that they would scar.

Usually she let the blade glide across her skin, but this time she really dug it in. Pressing hard in desperation to see the blood ooze out and it did.

The sweet relief. She let out a breath, letting herself bask in the feeling of doing this. The very short-lived relief before the inevitable dread of what you've done and how you're going to cover it up and oh the shame. With another slice she let her eyes close, truly relaxing into the feeling. Letting it take hold of her just for a second.

"Shell" Charlie barely whispers through the door and Shell immediately opens her eyes and cradles her arm, trying to hide it from her dad.

"Shell, baby" Charlie's rushing across the room now, kneeling at his daughter's bedside to nurse her cuts, "It's okay, darling, Dad's here now okay? It's okay, no don't cry, it's okay" He tried to comfort her but Shell just let herself fall forward into her Dad's chest. Admitting defeat.

"I'm so sorry, dad I didn't mean-"
"Hey, you don't get to say the S word, remember?"

Shell doesn't say anything after that and just breaks down into sobs. Letting all her emotions truly come out and she feels safe yet vulnerable. She never cries in front of anyone, if there's one thing she's learnt from her past it's that showing your feelings is a sign of weakness and people will take advantage of it.