𝐄𝐔𝐏𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐀 | strawberriextrio

Chapter Thirteen | Wondering..

A/N:

hello!! how are u all? hope you're enjoying euphoria so far (and this chapter)! thanks for the support <3 ㅤ ૮꒰⸝⸝>.<⸝⸝꒱ა

Emma's POV:

I sat on the edge of my bed, burrowing my head in my hands. I don't think I'll ever go back to school after this. 

I check the time by my bedside table. I would have been in Maths with Ms Brandson right now. 

I sigh heavily and rub my eyes wearily. I wish and wish it would all be gone and that I wouldn't have to go to school tomorrow and deal with this. 

But no, life is unfair, and this is what I have to deal with. 

I wished that I never kissed him. 

Never kissed August, never fell for him in the first place. 

That's who I am, isn't it? A girl who's just a big lying scandal. 

I attempt to erase all thoughts and make my head go numb. 

But I can't think of anything else. 

My head is filled with sorrowing and distressing thoughts of the same thing, circling over and over again, back and forth. 

August. And Edward. 

All sorts of confusing feelings nit-pick at my brain. 

Frustration. Annoyance. Irritation. 

The feeling that overpowers them all is guilt.

Guilt for dragging August into it. For dragging Edward into it. 

And Kathy. What would she say when she finds out?

I couldn't bear to think. All those times she warned me, telling me it wasn't a good idea to trust someone, to let myself fall for them so easily. Only now I see why she didn't allow herself to trust August. 

Somehow my brain relocates to some place I forgot. 

My mum. 

She warned me too. Countless and countless of times, and though I was young, too young to understand and brushed it off like it was nothing, I forgot her warnings. I only remembered her harsh words, that brutal honesty that caught me off guard. But I forgot the intention behind her words. 

Would she be disappointed in me?

It's been so long since I've talked to her, heard her voice and seen that unfamiliar face. All she left for me, and all I have of her are those sharp, vindictive words. She must've knew I would get myself in this mess. She gave me all those warnings, clues, but I did not listen. I wish she was here to tell me how to get myself out of this mess. 

But I know she's not coming back. Not for me, anyways. The moment she left and said her quiet, cruel goodbyes, she left my life. One day, if I ever see her again, she'd only be a stranger, a passer-by like all the others. Not my mother. 

I shut my eyes gloomily and took a few breaths. 

Summoning all the power left in me, I stood up and rummaged around my school bag for my phone. 

1 miss call from a number I don't recognise. (probably scam)

and...

41 new notifications. 

All from Kathy. 

I scrolled past the messages. All of them ran along the lines of "Emma", "I can't believe you", "I told you this would happen". 

I try to force a reply out of me, maybe an apology, but I can't seem to type anything. It wouldn't mean anything to Kathy anyways. I knew she would be mad. 

I check the time once again. It had been 35 minutes. Just a few more hours until school ends. 

I give up, and type an "I'll explain everything later. Come over to my place?", hoping she wouldn't ignore it. Knowing her, she probably wouldn't, but I knew she would be mad. 

I put my phone on the bedside table. It vibrates only after a short while. I hesitate to pick it up, fearing that the reply would be bad. 

Instead, the front screen shows not Kathy, but Edward. 

"Are you okay?" it read. 

I almost laughed at the irony of it all. Instead of replying, I chose to ignore the message. 

Kathy had read my text, but had not replied.

I sighed and placed my phone down again. 

For now, I will wait, as patiently as I can, for this to go by like nothing ever happened and everything to go back to normal.