Beloved

Chp. 64

Lilith

They left. I would never hear from them again.

It was strange that I did not feel any type of way. I was not shocked or distraught by the news. Perhaps it was something I expected sooner or later. My absence never anything significant. It seemed Khael never considered them as people that were related to me. He never liked them especially with how my father treated him. I somehow fooled myself to believe that we were a family.

Although I knew, it became clearer that all I had and needed was Khael and my life here. In a way, it was a relief to hear this from Khael. I felt as if I was finally free to live my life here. I felt as if a little rock was lifted off my chest. There were no more strings holding me to the past. I would no longer have to write and rewrite letters that would only end up in the trash.

The only person I did not want to forget was Laurdes. If I was to share my happiness, I wanted it to be with Laurdes. Hopefully she would be here by the time I have our first child.

*

We were nearly reaching 5 months of my pregnancy and I started lessons on how to care for a newborn. Everything felt so new to me and I felt nervous because I knew nothing about caring for a child. I didn't want to make any mistakes and wanted to be the best I can for our child.

After a week of these lessons from the women of Draylum, I felt familiarized with holding a baby, changing dirty linen, and feeding a baby.

"L-Like this?"

I wasn't sure if I was doing it right. Stroking their cheeks stimulated the reflexes and the baby turned towards my breast.

Cree and Cicili seemed to have fun as they also took this time to practice for their  future. I found it adorable that they were being so gentle to the small dolls they were practicing on. I was sure they would be wonderful mothers.

I noticed there was a woman in the corner breastfeeding her newborn. The child looked so healthy, eagerly suckling her breast. In the midst of it, I couldn't help but notice the size of her breasts.

I turned away and looked down at mine. They've grown, much larger than my normal size but I was still worried. I hoped I would have enough to feed our son. Cree let out a small laugh at my concern and shared that breast massages help increase breast milk. I wondered if that would really work. Perhaps I'll find it useful in the future.

One of the girls even gave me things for body care. It was a thick, creamy substance inside a glass jar. The smell was lovely like those of lavender. Supposedly it helped with the stretch marks that forms on the belly.

It was a first for me to feel this type of excitement. When Khael asked me about my days I realized I would talk longer than usual, telling him about the things I learned. I wanted to share it with him so we could both be good parents for our child.

"What is this?"

Khael was looking at the glass jar placed on the bedside table, holding it up in front of him.

"I-It's for the stretch marks on my b-belly. They said it'll k-keep my skin smooth."

Although I noticed the marks slowly forming on the sides of my belly, I didn't mind it at all. But after hearing about it, I wondered if Khael would like it better if my skin was nice and smooth. If so, I would apply it on me everyday without missing a day.

He had me sit down at the edge of the bed as he knelt down on one knee and lifted my dress over my belly. His large hand rubbed the front to the sides. I curled my toes when he leaned down to kiss the marks forming at the sides. Again, he told me I was beautiful. It was a habit of his.

How can someone always be beautiful? I didn't think it was possible until I met him. I assumed it was similar to how I see him.

"Here, lean against me."

I leaned against him as he helped me rub the body cream on my belly. He took a large scoop with his fingers and lathered it all over. It felt so smooth and cool against my skin.

I took a scoop myself and followed his hand movements. His hands interlocked with mine. There was some left on the top of his hands. He wiped the remaining on my forehead and managed to get a small laugh out of me.

Sitting here like this brought a moment of ease to my body. As he continued, I felt my eyes slowly close on me and I didn't remember when I had fallen asleep.

Khael

"Okay, you can-"

When I glanced down, she was already deep asleep. Her breaths were heavier and it seemed she was more tired today than usual. I pulled the dress down over her belly and carefully carried her over our bed.

I've talked with Ruel before to see how Lilith was doing. He told me she was doing well and more comfortable reading aloud. But it would still take some time for her to speak without any stutters. I didn't ask expecting for any drastic changes. 

I believed she would be able to do it. There were moments when I saw her persistence and eagerness that assured me so. Her efforts were solely for our family but I wanted this for herself.

She would express her worries to me but I wasn't at all. Although she didn't notice, I was able to see her maturing day by bay.

My beautiful flower ready to bloom...

I laid beside her, allowing her head to lean against my chest. I whispered to her while I stroked her cheek.

"You're doing great, Lilith."

I'm sure Laurdes would be proud of you too. I won't keep her away from you too long.

The exchange of short letters could only last so long. I knew of how important Laurdes was to Lilith. I would have to arrange for her arrival soon.

*

Thank you