Beloved

Chp. 38

Lilith

When I stopped by the small library, Ruel was here today. Surprisingly he wasn't doing anything but just sat there by the table. When I arrived he immediately stood up as if he was waiting for me. And with a slight smile he bowed his head.

"I was hoping you would come today."

I was confused what he was referring to but I saw his hand reaching inside his breast pocket for something. It was a letter. My eyes widened when I anticipated who it was from.

"It's a letter from Laurdes Farlane."

It was a letter in response to the one I sent a while ago.

"T-Thank you, Ruel."

I got closer to the candle light to read the letter. It was indeed from Laurdes. I recognized the intricate letters of her handwriting.

To my dear lady Lilith,

I am sure you were hoping to hear from me sooner. I apologize for writing so late. I am doing fine so there is no need for your worries. I am most worried about you. By the time you read this I am sure you would have spoken with Chief Khael and I apologize. I did not mean for him to know this way and I most certainly did not want to be the one to speak of your matters in your absence. Please forgive me. It may sound selfish of me but I am relieved Chief Khael is no longer oblivious to the treacherous matters of the household. It has always been painful to see you hold such burden by yourself. Chief Khael, he is a good man. I am ashamed that I ever doubted that. I cannot express how thankful I am that you have someone to finally rely upon. There's nothing more I could wish for than to see you live freely and in happiness. I sincerely hope to see you soon.

Always,

Laurdes

The letter slithered onto the floor from the tips of my fingers. I covered my mouth in shock.

Khael...he knew.

He knew the lies I've created to keep our marriage safe. He knew I was nothing more than waste of the Pensingtons that dared to marry him. My mind roamed wildly at the thought of how he must've felt to be tricked into this marriage. He had sacrificed so much just to be married with someone like me. I was worthless to him and only had the name of the Pensingtons to offer.

I did not want him to know like this. If only I spoke to him sooner. I wished he never knew. I was ashamed and afraid of the consequences of tricking him of who I really am. I felt like a fool. My tears flooded the rim of my eyes, moments from falling.

You're useless. You only bring shame to our family. If only you weren't born, mother would still be alive.

No.

I covered my ears not wanting to remember those words again. He would abandon me now that he knew of these truths.

But..why did he stay quiet about this? Why?

"Lady Lilith are you alright?"

I flinched and stared up from his words. I had forgotten Ruel was still here beside me.

"Oh, I was debating whether or not to leave but-"

His eyes widened when he realized the tears that started to trickled down my cheeks. I hated it. I hated how I allowed myself to be seen like this. I looked down towards the floor not being able to give him an answer. My words were clogged down my throat as I tried to hold back my tears and allay my heaving chest.

I saw that he picked up the fallen letter and it was now in his hands. They hesitated then came closer to my face. I needed to stop crying.

"Get your filthy hands away from her."