boys //ziam

chapter seventy-seven

"well," elias looks around, then sits on lucas bed. "maybe."

"i'm not buying that," lucas says. "i know you and jordan haven't been talking again, and-"

"i don't want to talk about jordan right now," elias says, sighing and laying on lucas bed. he holds one of the pillows next to him. "i get it. i know sometimes he prefers to deal with shít alone, so he shuts everyone out and comes back when he's better. he's told me, and i get it."

"oh," lucas says.

"but where does that leave me? i'm supposed to be his boyfriend. i go through shít too. you have no idea," elias says. lucas has some sort of an idea, he's figured elias has some trouble at home. he's seen the scars on his body, older scars that definitely didn't come from his fights.

"but i can't even tell him because he's apparently the only one allowed to have problems," elias says. "everything in this relationship has been about him. i'm tired of it."

"he doesn't mean to," lucas tries to defend his brother. "things have been hard for him lately, he's not handling it well but it doesn't mean he doesn't care about you."

"i know... i just wish he trusted me enough to let me in. i'm tired of being treated like this," elias says. "it hurts. but i plan on breaking up with him. today."

"what? no. you can't do that," lucas says. he already feels distraught. he knows jordan would be broken by it, and lucas himself would feel bad because this means he wouldn't see the older boy anymore.

elias gets up from the bed and walks to lucas. "i already made up my mind. but don't worry, i'll still drop by if jordan let's me. i care about the both of you too much."

lucas sniffles. he feels like he's the one being broken up with. he feels bad for his brother in advance, but secretly, deep down there's some part of him that's... relieved? but why would he be relieved? he has nothing to gain from it.

"wish me luck," elias says, waving away at lucas.

...

liam can't shake the feeling that zayn and jordan are both hiding something from him. and whatever it is, it can't be good because why else would they work together? it's been two days since he slept with zayn but he still can't get over it.

he's gotten tired of hoping that zayn gets his memories back. everyday, he wakes up more disappointed than he was the previous day.

the search for harry has also been proving fruitless, zayaad is getting increasingly frustrated with the police. he's also been coming around more lately to complain about it to liam.

liam tries his best to console him, even though the man makes snarky comments all the time. liam feels bad for him and relates to his pain so he tries to be there for him as much as possible.

like right now. zayaad came over and zayn manages to convince him to stay for dinner.

"where's jordan?" zayaad asks.

"yeah, where is he?" liam asks. jordan has become increasingly rare to sight this days. the boy is always locked in his room. liam hopes that he isn't falling into depression again.

"he's not feeling well," zayn says. "he says we should go on without him."

"why are you speaking for him?" liam asks. it's rare to find zayn taking his parental duties seriously.

"because he's my son," zayn says. liam warms up to that, zayn is becoming more mature, but that doesn't mean that liam would forgive him for what he did. "zaad, any updates on your boyfriend?"