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I wake up in Izanagi's bed in the morning, the soreness between my legs a reminder of what happened last night. I told myself that I wouldn't let things between us get any further, but seeing him after I hadn't for three days prior, the rush of emotions overwhelmed me, and I gave in to the desire I tried so hard to deny myself.
I knew that I wanted Izanagi, and I knew that I wanted him badly. But I swore on hell that I would never let him know that. Of course, after he ate me out like the last supper on our- my kitchen counter, the words "I want you" flew out of my mouth as easily as a third-grader reciting the alphabet.
Do I regret it? No.
Why would I regret the best sex of my life?
In all honesty, I always wondered what Izanagi would be like in bed because I knew he'd be unbelievable. Remember what I said? Fucked up people fuck good, and Izanagi is as fucked up as they come.
Let me just say, he did not disappoint. My body practically melted in Izanagi's hands, and his touch? Fuck, his touch is hypnotizing.
Even now, he's touching me in the most non-sexual way because his hands are wrapped around my body holding me in place as I lay on his chest, and a small part of me wishes that I could freeze time and stay right here with him.
That's the part of me that I hate because it's the only part that seems to forget that Izanagi is the man that I was supposed to let live in my apartment until he let his guard down enough for me to kill him. It's also the same part of me that has got me in this predicament, watching Izanagi's chest rise with every breath that he takes. That small part of me must be winning if I crossed the line with Izanagi and if I'm starting to lose my inner battle.
I don't want to admit that I might have an inkling of feelings for him, because if I do, then it opens the door to vulnerability, and I cannot afford to be vulnerable. I don't know how to be vulnerable in the first place, and I don't know how I would react if Izanagi were to hurt me. Him being him, hurting me isn't off the table and me being me, I don't wanna think about how many people I have to kill to get over that.
Izanagi and I are a bad idea.
We're a bad idea and it wouldn't even be worth it to try anything more, right?
"Stop it, little devil," Izanagi's morning voice snaps me back to Earth and I look up at him.
"Stop what?"
"Your overthinking," he replies and I sigh. "Considering it's not even 10 a.m., I'd say it's too early for that."
"How do you know I'm overthinking?" I ask, and he fixes the hem of my bonnet.
