LVIII

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'Venus, look, I found mother's diary and it mentions your birth!' Barnabas rushes into my room again. I can't understand what he says because of my radio.

I turn the volume down. 'What?'

'I found mother's diary. And it mentions your birth.' 

'Oh? Show me.'

I'm dumbfounded. They were happy with me after all.

It seems like the contractions won't end at all. It's terrible. The pains I feel are too worse to describe. But the doctor says it won’t last long. This is even worse than when I had to give birth to Barnabas. 

Another painful cramp. And then another. And another. I scream out in pain and cling to Joshua. Barnabas looks at me fearfully and I take his hand.

'I’ll be fine, Barnabas. Your little brother or sister is just having trouble coming out…' I groan. Another painful cramp. I scream out again.

And then it’s over. 

'Congratulations,' I hear the doctor say. 'It's a girl.'

A girl. A beautiful little girl. Barnabas has gotten a little sister today.

She's so small. And cute. She opens one little brown eye. 

I ask my husband what we should name her. 

'Venus,' he tells me. 

Venus? That's a nice name. I tell the doctor that her name will be Venus. 

'Venus who? Any middle names?' 

'Venus Naomi Collins,' I tell him. I show her to Barnabas.

'Look, Barnabas, that's your little sister,' I tell him. I hand her over to him. Venus opens her eyes. She sees Barnabas and then begins to laugh.

'She's already happy,' I tell him. 

'And look at what a beautiful young woman you’ve become,' Barnabas says. 

'And you're the most handsome man I’ve ever seen,' I respond. 

We were at another ball and mother, father, Barnabas and I were outside for a while. I sat in Barnabas' lap and he had put his arms around me. I blissfully leaned against him. I was so happy. 

Mother and father then began to kiss right in front of us.

'My god, really?' I groaned. 

'They love each other, my dear. Just wait until you’re grown up yourself. Then you’ll also constantly want to kiss.' Barnabas responded.

I looked at his handsome features. I wanted him. Family or not. I didn't care if he was my brother. I wanted him badly.

I fantasized about him all the time. I became even more careful at hiding my diary. And I also had to hide my paintings constantly.

I was painting him again and then I got an idea. I painted him with me. It took a while, but before I knew it, I had painted Barnabas and I on the balcony of our house. But it wasn’t normal. Barnabas was kissing me.

 I carefully put my initials on it. Right at that moment, Barnabas came in. I quickly moved the painting to somewhere else and began to paint something else. 

Little did I know that he would find that painting and confront me with it.

'Venus, what is this? Why did you paint us kissing?' He asked.

'I couldn’t think of another man,' I stammered.

'It looks good, my dear. You should try to sell them.' 

'Barnabas?' I asked a few days after that kiss on our ball.

'Hm?' He responded.

'Why did you kiss me that night at our ball?'

'Don't say you didn’t like it,' he said.

'I loved it, Barney. You can kiss good.'

'You too,' he said.

'But why… Do you have…'

'I couldn’t help it. You looked so beautiful that night. But, let’s forget about it, okay? It was my mistake.' He got up.

I grabbed his hand. 'No.'

'What no?' He asked.

'I don't want to forget about it, Barnabas. I… I want it to happen again.' I confessed. 

Barnabas got over to me. He looked around, but there was no one around at the moment. 

'Okay,' he responded. He cupped my face and then leaned in and put his lips on mine. I was pretty shocked when I felt his lips. But I automatically went into it. His lips were so soft. 

I moaned in pleasure. He smiled against my lips. 

'More,' I whispered. 

'Huh?' He asked.

'More, more!' I nearly yelled. I clung to him. I couldn’t control myself anymore and I began to rub up against him. 

'Venus…' he groaned. 'Don't do that…'

I just continued. I suddenly felt something poking at me. I gasped and looked down at his crotch. He had a boner. 

'Am I turning you on?' I asked.

'I thought it was clear enough,' Barnabas growled. He grabbed my waist and started to grind on me. My god. I was having dry sex with my brother here. 

He started to whisper dirty shit in my ear. It turned me on so much, I was sitting in a puddle at this point. 

'My god, I'm so wet,' I whispered to him.

'Fuck,' he growled in response. He began to kiss me again. My god, I should’ve been dreaming…

And then it was over. Barnabas pushed me off of him and got up. 

'I’mma get rid of this,' he said while pointing to his boner. 

When he returned, he pulled me close and gave me a hug. I melted. 

'You won’t tell mom and dad, will you?' I whispered.

'Of course not, my dear. This remains between us. Our little secret,' he whispered in my ear. 

Would this be the right moment to tell him that I was in love with him? Or would he see it on my face?

I finger fucked myself a lot the following days. Once I even did it on one of my paintings. And I climaxed really hard and I squirted all over my fingers and even my wrist. Goddamn, cumming felt so fucking amazing. 

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