A SHADE APART ;; TAEKOOK

49

"He wasn't sad anymore, he was numb, and he somehow knew numb was worse."

Taehyung woke up in the dawn to an empty bed, the occurrences of his first wild night in Russia still hammered their faint presence in his mind.

He hadn't even take a minute before he rushed over to the bathroom, bolted the door, and sunk to the tiled floor.

The shower was turned on, sprinkling him with scorching hot water as he struggled to harshly rub away the vulgarity of his sins from last night. He believed he deserved this pain. He needed to feel something besides the aching void inside him.

The salty tears kept trailing down his cheeks, unstoppable and harsh, as if all his hardships, all his distress, had condensed into a cloudburst of rain, in a metaphorical sense.

He wasn't unsettled because he didn't enjoyed Jungkook's sinful touch tainting his skin.

He was distressed because he was so easily persuaded into wanting something that he claimed to loath. It was humiliating, he felt nauseous. He felt used...

It will stay imprinted in his brain forever, and he couldn't take it back even if he wanted to...

A part of Taehyung belonged to Jungkook now, and that was unnerving.

He had let the one who holds him hostage see him in his most vulnerable sense, something that was saved for someone who would actually deserve it.

Taehyung felt so numb, staring at the shower wall.

He forfeited track of how long he had just been sitting there with his head down on his bent knees with his arms wrapped around himself.

The water got cold now.

The brunette wished he could stay longer, all day maybe. But there isn't any point. Last night had happened, and nothing could change that. So why bother anymore?

He dried himself and quickly changed into his clothes.

Taehyung believed he heard some loud voices from downstairs and he immediately identified one of them to be Jungkook's.

'Of course you would.' His subconscious pinpointed, and he did everything in him not to scream in frustration or slap himself.

Last night shouldn't have gone that way. It was so wrong, beyond repair.

Taehyung didn't know if he could even look Jungkook in the eyes after that. Would he be all smug and cocky? The blond boy couldn't stop the fresh tears from tumbling, and he wiped at them furiously.

This was out of his hands, he was not used to this, he didn't know how to ignore it or not be awkward around him now.

As Taehyung was having an inner panic attack he heard Namjoon shout something, he was alarmed as he scampered towards the living room downstairs because he knew Sofia would've come along too.