When you live questioning if you can get by the next day, doesn't it make you hopeless? Leaving you constrained with all your choices because, in your truth, these are the only opportunities you have for yourself. They can be counted all in your han...
Is a birthday a celebration of living or a greeting on the stairway to the afterlife? After all, each candle is a step closer to a trapdoor. Where one's fingerprints are too perfect not to fall through the abyss. And that's the morbid truth people try to hide behind their greetings. A happy birthday concealing congratulations for making it this far. But sometimes, not every celebrant is naive.
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Those exposed to the harshest winters do not see the difference between icing and snow. Those who lived on the gravest grounds see balloons as meteors ready to take their lives. Cards were no longer cardboard but paper cuts and bleeds. And Dae was a survivor, enduring the worst was expected. But living with a wish to earn and to be selfish, is unfamiliar to him. So days for him were days for nobody or somebody else. Because the once poor boy cannot pose a picture of happiness if he never sought it out in his adolescence.
But couldn't they pretend they weren't too broken even just for a little while? They were always good at playing parts for people they love at a distance. Can't they do the same for the ones they hold dear? It was selfish of Yoongi to think all these as they wait in a hospital room. But he just wants to light the candles and greet him love you instead of a three-word hbd. Yet, if he were to do that, Dae would see him as an arsonist ready to set him to flames. Rather than a loved one holding the torch in a dark cave.
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It's so hard to give someone special a cake of blessed wishes when he's afraid of candles. And so it is in the silence of holding hands that he says, "Happy Birthday, Dae." Where his words are lost in the noisy heart monitors and may just sliver through heavy-lidded eyes and dreams. Maybe in his slumbering world, he isn't afraid of candles. That's what Yoongi hopes for Dae, for the world to be decent enough to grant him the bare minimum of happiness. Leave him joy in his dreams even if it's just a round of playhouse.
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