Loving Him (Him Series Book 1)

Twnenty-Three

"I'm sorry. I don't understand."

My voice cracked. I stared in shock at my boss, who sat frowning from behind her desk, an ominous pile of paperwork in front of her.

"I regret having to do this, especially while you're on sick leave," Mrs. Brown said, watching me closely. "Do you deny that you had a relationship with Sergeant Huxley while he was your patient?"

Hearing Mrs. Brown's accusation of unprofessionalism, I felt sick. Of course, I knew relationships with patients were unprofessional, but Kyle was more to me and always had been. Shaken, I had no idea how to begin to explain this.

I met Mrs. Brown's steady gaze. She waited for my answer, and I saw from her expression that she fully expected me to deny the charges. I swallowed hard, grappling with an answer.

"We went to school together. We were friends and then..." It was hopeless. "I'm sorry."

She stiffened, her eyes widening with surprise. Sliding her glasses down her nose, she peered at me with an unreadable expression. "You understand I'll have to let you go."

I nodded, feeling like a failure.

"I don't know if any further action will be taken against you, but I'll do what I can to keep this from going higher up."

"I appreciate that."

Her eyes softened. "Lucy, what happened?"

I told her the story about knowing Kyle since high school, and how we'd met again while he was in the army. She listened and seemed sympathetic. When I was finished, she surprised me by standing up, coming from behind her desk, and hugging me.

Mrs. Brown was a fair boss, but she was more stern than affectionate so the uncharacteristic gesture humbled me. She wished me good luck, and I left her office still stunned.

It was as if I'd released an avalanche of trouble when I'd chosen to break up with Kyle. I was mad at myself for trying to fix something that wasn't broken. Pushing Kyle into Ava's arms was foolish. I let fear guide my steps and now I was facing the consequences.

I hadn't trusted in the Lord. I wondered if this was how Sarah felt when she hadn't trusted God to give her the child he'd promised, and she'd sent Abraham to Hagar's bed. Sarah had been impatient and forged her own path apart from the Lord's will. If only she'd waited on God, Sarah would have been spared jealousy and heartache. Why had I listened to Ava instead of waiting on God?

I drove to Kyle's house and saw with despair that Ava's car was parked in his driveway. I kept driving, knowing that I had no right to feel hurt when Kyle was doing what I'd asked him to do. Just like Abraham had done what Sarah had asked him.

Had Sarah been distraught when Hagar got pregnant with Ishmael? She had to watch another woman raise Abraham's son, a son Sarah had desperately wanted. Despite her disobedience, God kept his promise and Sarah eventually gave birth to Isaac, but she would have prevented much heartache if she had trusted God.

Pulling over, I bowed my head and prayed. I turned it all over to the Lord. Then I left it in His hands.

Sometimes I wished God would send me a postcard from Heaven with explicit instructions, but I was sure he was teaching me faith. If God wanted me with Kyle, it would happen. If God had other plans for us, I would accept them.

I had an appointment to try on my bridesmaid dress this afternoon with Aunt Karen and Lindsay. I didn't need to glance in the mirror to know I looked awful, but not showing up wasn't an option.

Wearing faded jeans and sneakers with a navy t-shirt and ball cap, I walked into the exquisite boutique two minutes late. I saw Aunt Karen with her arms folded over her stylish gray suit and Lindsay on her phone.