Loving Him (Him Series Book 1)

Eleven

I'm glad one of us is happy." Katie settled on the couch with her ice cream soda float and fat straw.

Glancing up from my phone, I realized I had the biggest, probably the sappiest smile on my face.

A shadow fell across Katie's features, but it was gone as fast as it appeared and hidden beneath a smile. "What's going on with you?" I asked, doing my best to sound casual. I knew Katie didn't like people fussing over her. "We're always talking about me lately."

"That's because my life isn't nearly as exciting." She fiddled with her straw. "Seriously, you have a hot boyfriend and a sexy date tonight."

"It's not a date." Guilt filled me.

"Yeah, I wonder what Kyle would say about it."

"I should tell him."

"No! Don't lose your mind, Lucy. I was kidding."

It wasn't right to keep secrets. I just wasn't sure how to tell Kyle about the date Izabelle arranged. I wasn't actually going to go, but I needed to tell Dr. Hotchkiss in person and I hadn't seen him yet.

I watched Katie twist her straw, something she did when she was nervous. "What are you and Clayton doing tonight?" I asked.

"Who knows, maybe we'll go back to his place and spend the evening tangled in sheets."

"Katie."

"Stop," she ordered, hopping up and stalking to the kitchen. "I know what you're thinking, and I don't want to go there. We don't always have to try and fix me. You're not my therapist."

I followed her, propping my elbows on the bar and watching her add more soda to her drink. "I'm sorry. That's not what I was trying to do."

"Jesus is the answer to all life's problems," she mocked, rolling her eyes. "Tell me that isn't what you were about to say."

"It's true, but I wasn't going to say it. Not now."

Flashing eyes flew to mine. "Why? Have you given up on me?"

The look on her face worried me. Every now and then Katie got stressed and down on herself. "I'm never giving up on you."

"Why am I being spared your Come to Jesus lecture? Am I too broken to fix?" she challenged.

I walked around the bar and into the kitchen, desperate for words to make this right. Please, God. I need you.

Katie crouched down and picked up a bottle of vodka from the cabinet. "Lucy, you're in love with Kyle. That's why you haven't had normal relationships like all the other women our age."

"You mean sex."

"Yes, sex! I'm messed up and we both know it. I'll probably die a virgin." She winced. "Cliché, I know. Feel free to ignore my meltdown and keep on scrolling." Katie nodded at my phone and took a drink from the bottle.

"I don't think waiting is messed up."

"You want to wait until you're married."

"What's wrong with that?" I asked carefully.

"Nothing—if it was 1950. Nowadays people think it's strange." She glanced at me and frowned. "I'm sorry, Lucy. I am including myself in this too, you know."

I sighed, softly, feeling useless. "Do you want to sleep with Clayton?" I asked gently.

She looked discouraged. My heart ached. "Not really," she answered, shaking her head.

Sometimes Katie's history of abuse dug its claws into her and wouldn't let go. "We're all broken, but never too broken to be healed." I counted to ten slowly before finishing. "Jesus loves you. He can take away your pain."