Slowburn

Chapter 82 (Renzo's POV)

        Last night was not what I expected it to be. I was supposed to go to a stupid party and dip after an hours worth of my appearance. I should have been alone. I should have snagged a hot girl I don't care about and fuck her before I left. I'd go home entirely content and forget the night even happened by morning. 

Instead I invited Kat to come with me. She dressed up and looked incredible in her burgundy tight dress that kept my eyes, and everyone else's, stuck on her. She doesn't seem to understand that, but I sure as hell see it. I didn't want her to wear it because I didn't wanna kill somebody. She thinks I'm kidding. I'm not. 

        Even still I managed to check my temper and aside from Kendra being a fucking little bitch the party went on without issue. I just wasn't very interested in staying there and used Kendra as an excuse for us to leave. 

I wanted my hands on Kat. I wanted her to myself where all those little beady eyes weren't watching what's mine. But when she asked to go for another drink I humored her. She was light, and fun, and maybe a little tipsy, and seeing her happy like that I didn't wanna cut the night too short.

        To no surprise I started to tease her, and teasing led to me finger fucking her until she came for me. Katarina Costa was docile and careful when she first arrived here. She was nervous and bashful. The Kat I had with me last night embraced my enticing her to call Kendra a bitch. She let me play with her pussy in a public place. She was sexy, and adventurous, and sucked my cock right out in the open in the front seat of my car.

 It was fantastic too. Always is. 

She had this glimmer in her eye that I kept catching. She was smiling and blushing in the way I like, but she was glimmering and I got caught up in it one too many times. I told her the truth of things. Kat is becoming a habit I can't break. 

After the whole night we had together hanging out, because that's really what that amounted to in the end, hanging out...I freaked out. I caught that glimmer in Kat's eye again and I shut down.

        I pretended to get a phone call and I told Kat I had a work emergency and needed to leave. I dropped her off at her apartment and  took off. I didn't like that shit. I don't know what's happening here, but I don't like it and I don't want it. 

I knew this commitment thing would get weird. If I can only fuck one girl then it's that one girl I'm going to constantly be thinking about. Kat's body, Kat's mouth, Kat's kisses, Kat's moaning. I don't have anyone else to compare it to because now there is no one else. 

It's unnatural. It's not healthy to think of a person that often. I need variety. I need to blow off steam, blow a load, not have sleep overs and chatty breakfasts.

        If Kat knew I was lying last night she didn't let on. She did get quiet, but I chalk that up to her natural state. Maybe she was disappointed. I know what she wanted. She wanted me to stay. Stay. To play the part of someone I am most definitely not. 

Was this just a botched experiment I should have never agreed to? I was a fucking coward about it. Instead of telling Kat I didn't wanna do this I made up a fake phone call and rushed off into the night. 

        Today in the light of day I've been thinking about my decision. How I ended last night abruptly. Thinking of talking to Kat anytime soon just makes me tense in a way I just don't need right now. 

So, when my family gathered to decide on who was going to New York to have a sit down with Jimmy Colombo, I finally let Rocco off the hook. I jumped at the chance actually. It means I'll be away for the next several days. It's what I need. Distance and clarity.