Slowburn

Chapter 4

        Last night after I received the bad news of yet another rejection for a job, I called my boyfriend Val and asked if I could come over or if he wanted to come over. I said I was a bit stressed out and wanted to see him. He apologized several times but told me he had a soccer meet. Val is a soccer player, obviously. 

He has two tone sandy hair styled very much like a soccer player with his hard part comb over fade. His body is lean from the sport, but not defined with curved muscle. His best feature is his white toothed grin that charmed me since day one. 

I understood his love for his sport, and even though he wasn't on a high division team he was getting scholarship money, so I can't be upset that he takes it so seriously. He'll play in friendly leagues to keep his craft tight and at it's best. So Sunday's he had 'meets' sometimes. 

I told him it was fine and just cried myself to sleep. 

        Today I woke up determined. I showered and put on a product to leave my curls natural. I don't wear makeup, but I mascara my lashes, mostly because they're long and curl into my eye if I don't have something to keep them in place. I wasn't going on any job interviews, but I was going to scout the local minimum wage paying jobs like Dunkin Donuts. I can't be choosy when I am this desperate for cash.

With that in mind I put on this two piece set that had cotton high waisted pattern shorts and a plain white tube top to match the back of the patterned shorts. It's not fancy but it's not messy either. Sandals are all I needed for footwear. 

        When I left my bedroom I held my head up high and skipped the breakfast I knew I didn't have waiting for me in that fridge. Last night I ate dry cereal when no one was around because I was embarrassed to show just how down on my luck I am. 

Amar was just exiting his own bedroom to head to class, so he smiled and said good morning. "Hello Amar, have a good day" I kept my head held high as I walked out the front door. 

Now I have no bus fare, so I'm going to have to walk to every place I'm thinking of looking into today. That's the Dunkin near my apartment, the Burger king near the train station, or somewhere closer to the downtown Boston area where fast food joints are kind of always hiring somehow. So I walked.

        I walked near Sullivan Square even though the area was bad, I walked down to the Haymarket area right next to downtown and Fanuiel hall, and then I walked onto Washington street to the Wendy's there but they weren't hiring. The pay levels were devastating to me once I calculated how much I would need to work to stay afloat. By late afternoon I was so exhausted I couldn't imagine walking home anytime soon. 

I hadn't had breakfast or lunch and these sandals were going to blister so that's smart. Awesome job Kat. I've never felt more vulnerable and afraid as I do right now. Where would my next meal come from? Rent? 

        When I thought about a meal I thought about the homeless man Peter that I met last week. He looked desperate too. Maybe that's the kinship I saw in his eyes. We got that meal at the food place...I couldn't remember the name but I remember Renzo...and his offer to me. 

I can't believe I am considering this, but I'm desperate for real. If the pay is worth it then I will consider. I have to. 

I urged myself to walk forward, knowing I remember the restaurant's location, just not the name. I walked beyond the sky scrapers until I got to the lower bricked buildings and then I saw the place. Revello's.

What will I do when I walk in? What should I say? He doesn't even work here. Oh gosh. My nerves almost made me walk right back down that city sidewalk from whence I came, but my pride wouldn't let me. I can't be in debt and I can't beg my parents. I wouldn't. Couldn't.