𝑇𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑒 𝑎 𝑙𝑖𝑒

𝑒𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑦-𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑒 | 𝐼𝑡 ℎ𝑢𝑟𝑡𝑠 𝑎 𝑙𝑜𝑡

AURORA
Friday, 17th June
~Helium by Sia

*
I strolled down the hallways of the school. For the whole two weeks I've been doing just the same thing, I go to school, I go home, eat, drink and go to sleep. I don't feel like do anything.

I'm just walking into the last lesson that's sticking out today. English with the topic love what I slowly getting tired of. Ares showed me what love is. It's pain.

His words on day one as he described love: "Love is just a feeling." he was right. Love is overrated, He showed me that.

"It's a joke to say I love you, I mean, does real love even exist? You think the person you are with is the right one, but they're the complete opposite, they're the person who destroys you the most. Feelings only give a surface to attack."

Fuck, he was damn right, and I still fell for it. I even thought he would ask me if we would like to make it official.

I sat down in the chair in the back row. I don't care about the lessons, much less about school. I understand it from time to time. "Hey, how are you?" I looked at Zeth, who meanwhile asks me how I'm doing five times a day. Does he think I'm doing something to myself?

Please even if it hurts, and it still does, I will not get to manipulate myself through Ares and will do this. He's not worth it.

"Yeah, everything's okay." I didn't smile. I rarely do, if I can put it that way.

Zeth looks at me worried, Mason came over and brought me something from the bakery on the table. "And a coffee. I know you're not sleeping properly, nor are you eating, so eat now." I looked into the bag and saw a sandwich with cheese and salad.

"I'm not hungry." I lose my appetite quickly. "We think it would be good for you." I rolled my eyes. "I can take care of myself." I started to put the food and coffee away, but Mason stopped me.

"I don't give a fuck that you don't feel like it or that you're not hungry. You eat this now." "Will you leave me alone then?" he nodded, I took the sandwich and bite into it.

Water formed in my mouth, but also the feeling of having to spit it out. "We're just worried." Zeth justified they actions. "I can handle it myself, really." Mason sat in front of me. Zeth was next to me.

They're like two of my guard dogs. They're watching me and making sure I'm not likely to collapse, but I've got it under control. You might not believe when you look at me, but I really have it under control.

Mr. Lenk came in and put his things down. "So for the last few hours we're talking again about the question of what love is. So answer me what is love for you."

I looked down at the table and scratched the wooden top. What do you expect? This whole thing is just a stupid joke. Mr. Lenk makes a fool of himself. If you believe in love, you are weak. That's the truth.

"Okay, I see a lot of opinions have changed. Then answer me. What is a stronger feeling than love for you?" Mr. Lenk put the question into the room. It was quiet for a moment when he called my name.

I looked up at him. "What?" "Aurora, what is a stronger feeling for you than love?" I didn't think long. "Lost. Love can be beautiful, but the sadness and the feeling of emptiness is bigger." I answer his question.

There was a short silence before Mr. Lenk took someone else. I looked at the table and then to the side where Ares was sitting. He looked at me for a moment. Then I broke eye contact.

It was a struggle not to hug him and ask him why. Why did he do all this just to get me into bed.

I was afraid of getting my heart broken again. You see, sometimes you can trust a person and then when things are down they forget about you, I'm just was afraid if I do trust someone and I will get my heart broken. And it looks like I was right.

Ares has hurt me more than any person has ever done. But I accepted it, I understood it. But the hardest part wasn't let him go, it was understanding that he didn't want to stay.

That's the truth. The lesson end quickly. I got up and just left without even waiting for Mason, Zeth or Quinn. I want to get out of here. I don't want to be here.

I ran to the girls' bathroom before the whole aisle was filled with people. I locked myself in and put my back against the door. I clapped my hand over my mouth and cried, I cry to sleep every night, I'm crying every time I open a book I read with him. I know the day Ares told me how naive I was.

I let myself slide down. It hurts so bad. It hurts a lot. Why does it have to be like this? Pain? Why do I have to feel? Why did I have to fall in love with him? I wasn't supposed to fall in love with him.

But I'm not allowed. I can't get myself down. I'm going to California soon, will meet new people and leave him behind.

I learned how to love him now I can learn how to hate him again.