Heaven Hath No Rage - Book Two

Eln (Seven)

CYCLE SEVEN- CYCLE ELN

"What did your father do?"

Xyra shook her head.

"I want to hear you say it. What did he do?"

"He died."

"How?"

"H-He died. He just died," Xyra said, "please."

A single tear fell down her cheek and it was followed by a stinging sensation. Her hand came up to hold the side of her face, nursing the slap she had just endured. But her hand was ripped from her face. It only made her cry harder. A hand came on either side of the armchair and locked her in. A face leaned in close.

"He killed himself, Xyra. He couldn't handle you, or the strain you and your siblings put on him," he said, "he had rather take a knife to his wrists than have to live with you another sun."

Xyra tried to stop the tears. She took heavy, uneven breaths trying to calm herself down but she was choking on her sobs. Her knees came up to her chest and she cradled herself. Her ears were buzzing and all she could think about was her father and seeing his blood everywhere. Her sister screaming. Her mother wailed. It consumed her and she fell down a hole she thought she would never climb out of. Her tears fell freely as she struggled to catch her breath.

The man lowered himself, squatting in front of the chair and patting her knee, "C'mon kid. It's alright. Let it pass."

Xyra nodded and lifted up her chin, trying to get more air into her lungs. She urged herself to calm down. To use her breathing method to bring herself into a neutral state. Her mentor was no help to her, simply patting her knee through her panic. Once she had recuperated enough– which to her mentor meant she wasn't frozen in place– her training resumed.

"Do you think if you reacted like that, you would survive a serious encounter?"

"No," Xyra whispered.

"Do you think if your friends were in danger and you pulled this shit, that they would be safe?"

"No," she felt her lip tremble.

"We've been working on these episodes, Xyra, what's going on?" he shook his head and stood up, "you can be great but you need to learn to push past the emotions. Don't let anything hurt you. They are just words."

Xyra opened her eyes at the sound of coughing. She sat up and looked around, wiping the sleep from her eyes. Navi was at her desk, looking down at her maps. Xyra stayed quiet. Sitting up hadn't alerted Navi she was awake, so she laid back down and turned on her side, watching Navi at work. There was this small curl to the corner of her mouth, a slight smile at doing something she loved. Navi had once told her that she truly believed she was born just to sail and to draw maps. There was an ease with which she worked that Xyra craved. No creased brow or scowl, only an eagerness to finish her task to revel in the final product.

They had spent almost two cycles together, marking the entirety of the crew's sixth and seventh cycle on land, and she didn't remember a single fight they had. The negotiations had gone splendidly. And for two cycles, she had been free of worry. Her sister was safe. Theo was better, what Xyra had done for her had truly helped. Xyra was not lost on how insane it all must have sounded to everyone else. Besides that, Cooker was clean, for the most part. Everyone she loved was safe and accounted for and nothing but good business was on the horizon. Preparations for a new island were going great. She had even managed to become friends with the new officers. Every piece of the puzzle was neatly in place.