Heaven Hath No Rage - Book Two

You're Poison, I'm Slipping Under

She was too afraid to open her eyes. Her arms felt like they were at her side. Which meant she was free, not tied up. Or, maybe her body had been wrenched into such an uncomfortable position for so long that she no longer felt any pain from it. If she opened her eyes and someone was in the room, they would alert Vaith that she was awake. If she opened her eyes, she would finally see where she was and it wouldn't be in a warm bed like she had been in her dream.

Her dream had been so vivid that she almost believed it to be real. But she knew better than to get her hopes up. She knew what awaited her within the next few hours and her heart began to race at the thought. The dream had made things worse, she wasn't sure how she could handle another sun of torture and no food when she had just imagined full plates of food brought to her table as she recovered from the wounds Vaith had inflicted. She would push through, somehow, she couldn't give him the satisfaction of winning.

Theo finally forced her eyes open and blinked to adjust to the low light. She wasn't in a room surrounded by wooden walls, arms chained next to her, with open wounds begging to get infected. She was in the warm bed of her dreams. Next to her was Cooker, her mouth ajar and arm hanging over the cot she was using to sleep. At a small desk in the corner, Xyra used her folded arms as a pillow.

It hadn't been a dream. It was real. She was safe. Her heart rate began to slow down as she realized there was no immediate danger. There were no soldiers waiting outside her door. No looming threat of torture. She didn't know why she had woken up thinking that she was back in danger's way; her sleep had been free of interruptions, no bad dreams or bad thoughts. Perhaps that was the exchange, terror for a few minutes after waking up to make up for the peaceful night of rest. Or it was revenge coming from her bad thoughts, unable to get her when she was so loopy from her nighttime drugs.

Even though she wasn't in any immediate danger, the panic didn't subside as quickly as she wanted it to. Her fingers were tingling and her legs were urging her to get out of the room. It was a large space but she still felt trapped, enclosed, caged. She wanted to get up and get a breath of fresh air but she hadn't stood up in so long so wasn't sure she would be able to do it by herself. And the last thing she needed was Cooker and Xyra to startle awake and start their hovering so early in the morning.

Theo kicked herself the second the thought crossed her mind. She shouldn't have been annoyed with her friends, they were just there to make sure she was alright. When Theo didn't return from the fight, they must have been beside themselves with worry. Theo wouldn't know though, they hadn't really spoken about it. Cooker had come in the night before and they had a much-needed conversation. Cooker had apologized for her role in everything and Theo reciprocated with another apology from her. They spoke a little bit about the broken trust between them, that Theo broke Cooker's trust and Cooker broke Theo's. There were some tears, some long one-sided monologues about feelings but Theo's capture was never mentioned. When Xyra came back in later that night they didn't speak about it either. She was thankful about it though, she didn't know what to say if they were to ask about it.

Theo hadn't really allowed herself to think about what had happened on the lightbringer. She hadn't allowed herself to think of the girl that she left behind. Even just the general thought of both of those things made her stomach flip. Her mind was blocking her from going too far down that path and probably for good reason. She didn't think she would be able to avoid a breakdown if she truly grappled with just how much pain her time on the lightbringer had brought upon her. She needed to distract herself but she couldn't move.

Even though Riva had been gone, her presence absent from Theo's life for quite some time, divinity intervened. Thankfully, as she was getting restless enough to simply give in and stand up, Tuni walked into the room. Her hair was tucked under a tight bandana, there was a large bag of supplies around her shoulder, and in the low light she could see the stains of blood all over Tuni's clothes. Theo wasn't sure what time it was but Tuni had clearly just come in from working outside of the infirmary if her frazzled demeanor was any indication.