HER

Chapter 20

That night Lily was out with Cheryl and the rest of the gang just like every other night. They had gone through drinks like water and drugs like air; they didn't feel alive until they were high enough to forget where they were which was currently in the middle of the dance floor. Cheryl danced with her hands around Lily's neck and Lily had hers wrapped around her waist and in that moment, they were happy; as happy as they could be in their state of mind.

They were so caught up in themselves, everyone around them were blurred into oblivion. The music was the only thing that got through their blood streams just like the drugs; it was invigorating, it was intoxicating, it was everything they needed but shouldn't get. And yet there they were, at their lowest point which seemed to be not just a high point for them in their life but a point where they didn't have to struggle with the pain and so much hurt they felt. It was the only way they knew how to survive.

"Hey."

Lily turned when she felt a tap on her shoulder. It was Cooper, he was the one who always seemed to get the good stuff for everyone in the gang.
"Guess what I got us?"

"What?" Cheryl came closer, her weight resting on Lily.

"Fentanyl." He whispered.

Lily frowned.
"I thought that was impossible to get."

"It is." Cooper said. "But there's a new guy. He hooked me up."

"That's super cool."

"Want to try it out?"

"Of course." Cheryl grabbed at the small packet he had in his hand and tore at it.

"Save some for me." Lily said when Cheryl almost seemed to inhale the entire thing.

She moaned when it went through her nostrils.
"That's sick."

Lily took the sachet and took a whiff of the rest of the content.
"Fuck yeah!" She said in a low voice.

"Amazing right?" Cheryl asked.

"It's..." She couldn't find the word for it.

"Fun-tanyl." Cheryl provided with a laugh which Lily joined in on.

"Definitely Fun-tanyl."

"I think I need more."

"Let's dance some more then we'll go meet Cooper." Lily pulled her into her arms. Cheryl wanted more but she also wanted to dance with Lily.

"Alright." Cheryl hooked her arms around Lily and danced.

Catherine had waited for Ian all day the previous day but he hadn't shown. Her flight was leaving in a couple of hours and she was leaving. She carried her bag and her guitar to the bottom of the stairs and dragged it by the hand. She walked towards to car park and waited for her ride but she was surprised when she found Ian's jeep instead.

She fumbled in her steps and then stopped. She just stared through the window of the jeep and waited. Ian sighed and stepped out; he hadn't been able to see her the previous day which happened to be her last day in Bell Gardens. His captain had kept him and when he left, it was late and he was certain she'd be asleep.

"Hey." He said watching her.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to see you before you leave," He said "And also take you to the airport."

"I already called for a cab."

Ian cleared his throat, looking away.
"I might have told him you cancelled the ride."

She wasn't surprised instead of being angry, she smiled and walked to the back of the jeep.
"Help me?"

Ian sighed and helped her get her things into the trunk. Soon, they were in the car and on their way to the Compton/Woodley airport.

"I waited for you yesterday." Catherine confessed. She was leaving, she better gets it all out in the open instead of holding back to it.

Ian glanced at her.
"I'm sorry. I was caught up with job."

She nodded.
"I figured as much."

"How long did you wait?" He asked with a smile.

"Past midnight." She played with her fingers.

"In the kitchen?" He asked, shocked.

"No, my apartment."

"You thought if I stopped by, I'd come see you."

She nodded.
"Silly me."

"I wanted to stop by. I just figured you'd be asleep; guess I was wrong."

Catherine caught herself staring at his side profile too many times to count and every time she scolded herself. It was too late. Ian found himself glancing at her, trying to take every inch of her in. He had asked for the day off to give her a ride to the airport. That's why he had been late; his captain hadn't approved the sudden time-off but he had stayed back and tried to explain things. He hadn't left until he got the captain's signature.

They arrived at the airport in under an hour and at the speed Ian was driving, that was a surprise. He wanted the drive to last as long as it took for her flight to depart but he couldn't do that to her. She was so happy to be going home. Ian drove around the parking lot until he found a spot, he pulled into it and killed the engine. He released the breath he had been holding back.

He glanced at her but she was already watching him. Catherine gave him a sweet smile which Ian returned. They got out and walked to the trunk to get her things. He didn't let her touch a single one as he placed the guitar case on top of the bag then grabbed both handles and they walked hand in hand towards the airport till they arrived at the entrance. He let go of her bag and dropped her guitar on the pavement, then turned to face her and took hold of her other hand.

Catherine looked up at him. She smiled with a sigh, her shoulders lifting then falling.
"Thank you for everything."

"You don't need to thank me for anything Catherine."

"But I do...and now I'm leaving and I don't know how to thank you properly." She looked away trying to get a grip on herself.

Ian stared down at her.
"I'll miss you Catherine."

She looked up then and smiled, her eyes tearing up.
"I'll miss you too."

Ian squeezed her hands and she felt herself almost chock on the lump building in her throat. She pulled her hand away from his and reached for her guitar and bag, dragging it behind her. She bit down hard on her lower lip to keep from crying. When she almost reached the door, she stopped. She paused.

She was leaving...Ian.

Catherine gripped the handle of her bag as she placed her guitar on the floor. She turned around and smiled at him when she caught his gaze. She began in a walk and soon she was running and when she reached his open arms, she gabbed him by the collar and kissed the daylight out of him. It took Ian a moment to react because she caught him by surprise. He wrapped one hand around her waist and held her with the other as he pulled her into him.

When the kiss finally broke, they were breathing erratically with smiles on their faces.

"Goodbye, Ian Daniels." She said.

"See you soon Catherine Summers."

And he let her go as did she. As he watched her walk away and as Catherine walked away, they both thought: If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they're yours; if they don't, they never were.

Which surprised both of them as they hadn't realized until now that they loved each other. But they knew better than to tell the other what they felt as they didn't know what the other felt.