A Million Pieces - Hunger Games (Catching Fire & Mockingjay)

Chapter 46

Haymitch votes yes.

I've stopped crying, but I'm the first out of the room. I'm breathing hard, trying to stop the thoughts that rush through my mind. Not memories, real or fake. But images of more children being reaped, more children dying. Malila having to watch. My hands press into my skull so hard I may be making a dent. There's nothing more that I want than Finnick's sharp pinch to bring me back to reality, like it always has. Instead, I've failed him. Failed his wish for a better world.

Peeta is the first to join me. His breath is coming out in short gasps and he seems to be choking on his words. I reach for him too suddenly and he jerks back. It takes a second, but he focuses on me and lets me grab his arms. "Peet," I say quietly. A little madly. "Peet, we need to do something. We can... we're both good at talking, we can make a speech. We can use our words, right? We need to stop this, Peet."

His hands grip me back and he shakes his head. "I can't. I can't do it. Not this time. Once the execution is done... I'm going back to Twelve. I'm throwing my television away. I don't want any part of this, Sapph."

He walks away before I can say anything more. Caspian and Annie come out together. He is still shaking and she has a hand resting on his arm. I reach for him and he all but collapses in my arms. I whisper, "She's not good. She's going to destroy Panem all over again. We need to stop her." I pause. "I need to kill her. It's the only way."

Caspian tenses and his shaking stops for a second. He presses his lips to my ear. "No, you can't. This isn't like Barrere." I'm about to say something, but he cuts me off. "But. If you really have to... I'll do it for you."

I pull away to look at him. He meets my gaze steadily. I can't do this to him. And he won't let me do it to myself. I shake my head. "Fine," I say. "You're right. But Cas, I'm not going to live in Panem if she is president."

Annie overhears this. Caspian looks at her. She nods, and he does too.

Katniss finally emerges, freshly powdered. She is flanked by her escort Effie Trinket and a team of stylists, so I can't get to her. But I let Annie loop her arm through Caspian's and I follow her. Katniss's entourage doesn't leave her side until the moment before she is meant to emerge into the crowd. I break into a run, intercepting her. My mind is racing again, and the words spill out of me. They're ones I've said before, just as desperately. She listens and doesn't try to interrupt me. When someone in a soldier's uniform steps towards us, she holds out a hand to stop him.

"Please, Katniss," I beg, finally catching a breath. "Please don't let them do this. We can't have another Games."

To everyone's surprise, Katniss reaches up with her scarred and places them on either side of my face. She leans in closely, her grey eyes locked onto mine. This is her infirmary face, I realise. The one she uses for the sick and dying.

"Sapphire," she says quietly, "I am going to fix this. I promise. You just need to trust me. Please. Like you said you did. Remember, when we were at Tigris's? You said that Finnick trusted me and you did too. I need you to trust me now."

And finally, I pause for long enough to use the skill that I so pride myself on. I look at her, really look at her, and try to connect her words to what her eyes are telling me. And finally, I nod. Although Snow tried to make this war another Hunger Games, it isn't that, not anymore. Katniss is not my enemy. When, since we left the arena, has she done anything to hurt me?

I trust her. And more importantly, it seems that in this moment, she trusts herself. I nod again.

"Yes?" she asks, watching me intently.

"Yes," I say, pulling away. "I trust you."

She nods, and Caspian and Annie appear by my side. Together, we walk to our places. I don't say anything. My mind is reeling, trying to catch up with what has just happened. We stand next to Malila and Auntie Tina, who looks at me with concern and shoots Caspian a puzzled glance. Katniss emerges. Then Snow is marched out and attached to a post. I take Malila by the shoulder and hold her against me. Katniss grabs the only arrow in her sheath and positions it. I'm tempted to cover Malila's eyes. She pushes my hand away.