A Million Pieces - Hunger Games (Catching Fire & Mockingjay)

Chapter 6

It has been two days since Talise died, and I haven't left the Riveras' couch. I don't want to.

My father has always been an unhappy man. Talise told me about how it was before my mother passed, how content he was. She said that aside from the occasional outburst of anger, he was kind. Then, when I was born, my mother became weaker. When she tried to give birth to our little brother, she was too weak, and neither of them made it.

Talise told me that was when the switch happened. When he turned from a peaceful husband to an angry widower. He was still supposed to be a father, but he stopped. Talise said that my mother's death broke something irreparable in him, but I think she was the glue holding him together. If he couldn't remain decent when she was gone, he had never truly been a good man.

Talise got so upset that I never said it again. I felt that I had been proved right, though, when he stopped working and Talise had to take charge of all of the paid and house work. I watched helplessly as he shouted at her, demanded more and more alcohol. He softened only late at night or early in the morning, when he was half asleep and he would take her face in his hands and cry about how much she looked like our mother.

I stayed as far away as I could, and Talise never encouraged me to get closer. Every once in a while, his gaze would focus on me, and his rage would take over. Talise would herd me out of the house and pretend that sleeping on the beach was a special treat. I knew she was lying, but I loved her for it.

Now that she's gone, I'm the only family my father has left. So I force myself off the couch and take a shower. I walk with Caspian to the docks, stalling. He knows this, so he talks a lot about the day he is going to spend on the water.

Caspian's father, Adrian, and his friends - which include both of Finnick's parents - usually spend days at a time out at sea, but since Talise's death, the entire district has taken a week off. Adrian gives me a gentle smile when he sees us, but thankfully he avoids the subject of Talise. Instead, he explains that District 4 should grieve, but that we can't lose a full week of fishing, so they're going out less far than they usually do. He asks if I want to join them, and I so desperately want to say yes, but I force myself to refuse. I have to go see my father. At least to make sure he's alive. To get some food in him. Perhaps offer some comfort. It's what Talise would have done.

So I watch Caspian sail away until he's too far for me to hear what he shouts, and I slowly make my way to my house. The main room is dark when I come in, the shutters closed with no visible source of light. My steps become cautious.

"Father? I'm home," I call quietly. No answer. "Are you here?" I say a little bit louder. "Father!" My voice becomes frantic. "Where are you?" I trip over something, and it grunts. "Father?" My eyes fall to the floor.

And there he is. Slowly regaining consciousness. Bottles of liquor strewn around him. A dribble of saliva dripping out of the corner of his mouth. His clothes damp with sweat and alcohol. The first thought that comes to my mind is, "What would my mother and sister say if they saw him like this?"

I immediately regret thinking such a thing. They would have been devastated, but they would have been able to help him. Unfortunately, that has not shown to be one of my talents. I try anyway, putting on a calm and easy expression as I lean down.

"Father?" I whisper.

He forces his eyes open. When he recognises me, they narrow.

"You," he says. "You're the only one left! They're all dead! Your brother! Your mother! Your sister!" Tears spring to my eyes as he attempts to push himself off the floor. "What did you do to deserve survival?" Fury burns in his eyes. "Are you with them? Did you make some kind of deal with them? That they'll let you live if they kill the rest of us? Tell me, you stupid girl! And then it'll be your turn!"