A Million Pieces - Hunger Games (Catching Fire & Mockingjay)

Chapter 26

TRIGGER WARNING: References to torture.

In the first few days, I am more pampered than I have ever been. We breeze through good meals, plenty of sleep and the best medical care Panem has to offer. It's awfully familiar, and I know none of us are fooled. Every day, a guard comes to ask if we are ready to tell them everything we know and publicly support the Capitol. This treatment greatly resembles the luxury we lived not so long ago, when we were tributes in the Capitol before the Games. We were treated wonderfully back then too, but we were still going to be sent to our deaths.

Peeta and I decide to take full advantage, but Johanna remains vicious. I am barely able to convince her to let them take care of her injuries when her arm started looking green. Even then, she refuses to eat and she snaps at all the Capitol helpers, even the Avoxes. The hardest thing that week - besides not seeing Annie - is Johanna gets taken away.

Peeta and I remain alone in our luxurious room, and he quickly lets go of the anger and betrayal he felt against me. Johanna was right about how we have to stay strong together. He and I spend our days talking. We try to guess if Johanna and Annie are okay, whether District 13 is planning to rescue us anytime soon, what Snow's plan is. But we also learn about each other. He tells me about his painting and I tell him about the peace that knotting and weaving gives me. We share our fears, our memories, our thoughts. And it feels like if something happens to one of us, a part of them will live on in the other.

One day, they give us the full remake. Hebe, Adonis and Persephone make an appearance, but they are quiet and concentrated as they strip me of any body hair I have and apply ointment that hides my injuries. No matter how many questions I ask - about the state of Panem and where Diana is - or how difficult I make their job, they do not say a word. They trim my hair and manage to make a thin crown braid around my head. Then they apply a coat of makeup so thick that I almost forget that I was burnt by a poisonous fog. They put me in a simple, light blue dress, and fix it up to make me look as innocent yet appealing as possible.

I find myself in a chair in front of Caesar Flickerman and everything makes sense. Snow stands outside of the camera frame, but in my line of sight. So that I can see the huge man next to him. The man holding a gun, his finger on the trigger.

His soft, warning voice dances in my mind. I can still feel his disgustingly sweet breath near my ear. "I planned to have Miss Mason as well, to send a message to our dear Mockingjay and her rebel friends. But Johanna has proved to be too difficult, so she is following a different programme. You've made crowds feel, Miss Ayers, listeners cry and audiences stand. You need to make them feel today. For me."

The camera flickers on, and Caesar stares at me. "Sapphire... Miss Ayers. It's a pleasure to have you back."

I swallow, try to put Annie and Johanna out of my mind, and smile. "A surprise too, isn't it?"

"Yes, indeed. Forgive me, Sapphire, but the odds were not in your favour this Quarter Quell," Caesar says apologetically.

"I didn't expect to be back here either, Caesar." My voice is calm, composed. I am not as friendly as I was during my first interview, but I am not closed off either. The neutrality of it encourages Caesar, and, I can only hope, it encourages Snow.

"And yet here you are. Sapphire, would you tell us about that last night in the arena? The public would love to hear it from your point of view."

"Right," I say quietly. My mind works fast. No need to mention the rebels, to mention the District 13 plan. Not until Caesar asks a specific question. I mix what I was really feeling with what I should have been feeling. "I thought... I thought that it could be my last night. Ever. The plan seemed solid. I was sure it would work, that Brutus and Enobaria, and maybe even Chaff, would fall into our trap."