A Million Pieces - Hunger Games (Catching Fire & Mockingjay)

Chapter 9

Caspian glances at me as I slide up beside him. The victors around him roll their eyes now that they've lost his attention, but he ignores them. "Everything all right with 12?"

"Smooth sailing," I say quietly, chewing on the inside of my cheek. I meet his gaze. My voice is barely a whisper. "They're children. They don't deserve to die."

Caspian's answer is so quick I know he must have thought about this before. "Neither do you," he says. "No one does."

I shrug. I know he wants to make sure that I believe this as much as he does, but I can't right now. Instead, I look around at the circle of victors I've inserted myself into. Cashmere is laughing at Finnick's attire while her brother, Gloss, drags Caspian back into the conversation they were having before I arrived. I feel Haymitch survey me silently, but it's Johanna's gaze that captures my attention.

With her incredibly high heels, Johanna just reaches my height, but she looks more imposing than that. I fight the urge to look at my own shoes and wonder why Diana didn't give me taller ones. Johanna is wearing an awful tree costume, but the strength and confidence that she radiates make her look powerful and captivating. Slowly, she looks me up and down, until she finally meets my eyes again. I hold her gaze, and despite her friendship with Cas and Finn, I can't help but be a little intimidated. I lift my eyebrows and tilt my head.

"Hi."

She smirks and nods at me. "Hey."

I smile, confident that Johanna is not the kind of person partial to small talk, and look back around the group. Haymitch is watching me again, and this time I look back.

"I think you're a little old for me, Abernathy."

He snorts. "Not interested in losers, Ayers."

I expect a witty comeback to jump to my lips, but all I can say is, "Good."

He raises an eyebrow. "You all right, there? No offense, but imminent death can put a real downer on parties like these."

"Well, once you've come to terms with it, you realise you have about four days to live and not much to lose," I say, shooting him a brilliant smile.

I know Caspian is listening. I can tell by the way his head isn't facing Gloss straight on, it's tilted slightly towards me, and the way the muscles in his back have tensed. But I ignore him, and so does Haymitch.

"Not much, but not nothing," Haymitch points out, and his gaze flickers to Caspian and Finnick meaningfully.

I tense. Is this a threat? It doesn't quite feel like one. "Everyone has something to lose, I suppose."

Haymitch nods in an agreeable manner. "Can't imagine you're particularly happy with the Capitol at the moment," he says offhandedly, although his voice is noticeably quieter.

My eyes narrow. "Can't say I've ever been particularly happy with the Capitol," I reply just as softly.

He smiles. I have no idea what he's thinking. It's a feeling I'm not used to and I take it as my cue to leave. Finnick and Caspian are so comfortable here, with other victors. They don't have to silently test the waters, impose their strength or prove their wit, guess who might be a good ally and who might stab them in the back. They've known these people for years, they already have their places and their knowledge.

I know I should be trying to make allies, but I don't think anyone here will put me above years of friendships. And I don't know that those would be people I'd want to ally with. So instead I silently excuse myself and make my way to the District 4 chariot.

I climb into the chariot, murmuring soft words of reassurance to the horses, although I think I might really be saying them for myself. I stumble for a second when the bottom of my dress gets caught on one of the steps, but it's suddenly tugged free.