The Affair [boyxboy]

The Affair {16}

                I took a few and flicked my lights off, lying down and squeezing my eyes shut, waiting for the pills to drag me into unconsciousness.

                                                                                                ***

                I rang the doorbell, still feeling like a zombie. Luka opened the front door and his eyes watered as he looked at me.

                He grabbed my hand and led me into the house and upstairs to his bedroom. I wasn’t surprised to see Blake sitting on his bed with a neutral expression.

                “Tell us the truth Connor,” Luka choked out. “No lying. Tell us everything.”

                I nodded at him and sat down with him on the bed. I nervously twirled a piece of hair around my finger.

                “I came out to them. They were homophobic. You guys knew that, and you knew they stopped talking to me. When you got too concerned, I told you that things had gotten better. That they were talking to me again, even if it wasn’t as much as before.”

                I took a deep breath as Luka squeezed my hand. I looked down at him, and the concern in his eyes killed me.

                “But things weren’t better,” I finally admitted. “They just pretended I wasn’t there anymore. One day, I was their beloved son, and the next, I was invisible. I buy my own food. I take care of myself. They don’t abuse me. They just run into me if I get in their way. Because to them, I’m not actually there. They can’t see me, they can’t hear me. Connor never existed. They never had a son.”

                I dropped my gaze and shrugged, pretending it was no big deal. And as much as it hurt, it was nothing new. I hated it, but I was the invisible boy to them. That was all.

                “Connor, we can get you away from them,” Luka started, but I shot him a look that shut him up.

                “Why don’t you get it Luka? I don’t want to be away from them! They’re my mom and dad!” I said, hearing the pain in my own voice. “And somewhere, deep down, dead and buried, they loved me. And call me crazy, but I have this dream of one day finding that part of them. If you take me away from them, you’ll make everything so much worse. I know my home situation. I can handle it. You’re not helping! Just leave it alone!”

                I was shouting by the end of that. I winced at the sound of my own voice and dropped my gaze again, this time guilty that I had yelled at Luka.

                “I’m sorry,” I said, lowering my voice again.

                “But Connor…what about all those times you said you were with your parents? Where were you?” Blake asked, finally speaking up. His eyes glinted smugly.

                Luka’s eyes widened a little and he looked at me. “Yea Connor. Where were you?” he asked nervously.

                I looked at Blake, hating him deeply.

                My head began to throb and my heart began to slam a little harder, making my chest hurt. I wet my lips and looked down at Luka, suddenly finding myself unable to meet his eyes.

                I could tell him right here, and right now. I could tell him the truth about the affair, and let him decide what happened to our relationship.