Dear Iris [h.s]

chapter fifty five.

Iris Grace

It's my dad's birthday tomorrow and whilst i do want to get home a big 'fuck you' poster and a list of everything negative he''s ever said to me just so he knows how much it hurts, I can't do that. At the end of the day he's still my dad and although I don't really think that means anything anymore, it feels like it should.

I didn't know what to get him, I left it way too late and now his birthday is tomorrow and I have nothing. I could paint him something, but he'd throw it in the bin and I'm not wasting my paints on someone who won't appreciate them.

Someone actually came in to commission a huge dog painting this morning, they're gonna pay quite a lot and thinking about Paris with Harry, this could be it. I can't explain how badly I want to live in Paris with him, it sounds amazing.

It wasn't till i had finished sketching up the painting and mixing up the right colours, I realised it was midday, I have no food in the studio and still have nothing for my dad. I also haven't been down to the stalls in a while so I haven't seen those ladies recently. I should probably have made jam to take, but I have no fruit so I'll have to charm them with my presence instead.

Grabbing my shoes and my purse, I wandered out down to the stalls to go and find something for his birthday. I took my sketchbooks too, i might sit down on the hill for a bit just for a break. It's nice to get out of the studio and go for a walk, it's also a really nice day and I'm still all happy from the fact Harry and I are in love. I keep smiling for no reason, I don't think anybody has made me smile the way he does.

I'm not used to being this happy, I'm used to people talking shit, telling me they hate me and being nothing but a burden. I used to wake up feeling like shit and take it out on my paintings. I used to work so much so that I wouldn't have to stop and let my thoughts get the better of me. It's not like that now. I'm happier.

Maybe I'm not all the way there yet, and I don't think I ever will be if I stay in this town forever. When Harry and I leave and it's just us, he'll be in his element, and I'll be in mine. We'll be together away from everyone who has done us wrong and we'll be happier.

I stopped by the alcohol shop, bought a bottle of whiskey I've seen in my dad's cupboard because hopefully that'll be a good enough present for him. I don't know what to get him otherwise and if it's something he's drunk half of already, it clearly isn't awful. Then again, I'm not sure I should be encouraging his habit of getting drunk and being nasty.

I have plenty of cards at home, and for my birthday he got me a box of cigarettes, from his own company. This was a £20 bottle of whiskey he might not even appreciate so that'll do for him.

"Iris!" Someone called, and I turned to see Margaret behind her floristry stall waving me over. "Long time no see!"

"I know! Sorry I've been...busy." I explained. "It's my dad's birthday thing tomorrow and-"

I was cut off by her sliding a flower behind my ear, looking at me with a sweet grin as she did so. Margaret is the sweetest woman ever, if I didn't have christina, I'd call her my bestest friend.

"Who's the lucky person making you smiley?" She asked me, squinting her eyes with her hands on her hips.

"What?"

"I have watched you walk around these streets all sad, dragging your feet all slouched over unless one of us spoke to you. You almost walked by us, and you were smiling! Iris Grace you were smiling!" Margaret exclaimed.

"Maybe I'm just happy." I chuckled.

"I'm on to you Iris." She said, pointing her finger at me.

I walked off with a grin, winking at her over my shoulder. Maybe I would tell her everything if I could, if I wasn't so worried about someone hearing and taking it out on Harry. I can't begin to explain just how much I hate seeing him hurt.