Dear Iris [h.s]

chapter three.

Harry Styles

I'd gladly talk in front of a thousand people, I'd gladly even go swimming in the high tides with no fear, but as soon as it comes to going into my family home, which I grew up in, I'm a nervous wreck.

I'm just going to get Harper for the day, so I'll hopefully be in and out in a couple of minutes without needing to engage in any conversation with my dad or George. It never ends well, it either results in a bruise or two, or an emotional one. You'd think I'd get used to it, but I don't think you ever do get used to the feeling of your family being embarrassed by you.

Walking in the front door, Harper was sitting on the bottom step waiting with her head in her hands, watching the door as if she was waiting for me to step in. When she saw it was me, her face lit up and she came skipping towards the door, jumping right into my arms the second she was close enough.

"Hey Haps," I chuckled, smiling genuinely for the first time in a while as I picked Harper up.

Some would call it sad that one of the only people who can make me smile nowadays is my six year old sister, but I'd call myself lucky, because at least I have somebody. Harper is my best friend, at least I have that.

When she was younger, as in just learning to talk, she could never say her own name as it was always 'Haps' and it stuck around as my nickname for her. George called her it once and she made it very clear that he was not allowed to call her that, which is a win on my behalf.

My mum came round the corner, wondering what Harper was all excited about, and when she saw me standing there with Harper my mum just smiled. She likes that I'm close with Harper because it's the closest thing she has to the family she's always dreamt of.

"Hi Harry," My mum said with a smile, inviting me through to the kitchen, "You look awfully pale, you alright?"

"I'm alright yeah." I told her, probably just going pale from the amount of nerves I'm hit with the second I start walking up the driveway.

"Are you staying at our house tonight?" Harper asked, looking at me hopefully as I put her back down on the ground.

This is the main reason I hate the fact I feel like such a stranger in my own family home. Harper doesn't really understand why I don't stay over at night like George does. She knows I have my own home and in the spare room she's pretty much made it her own, but obviously she's just six years old and I don't really want her knowing all about that stuff yet.

My mum was also looking at me with hope, because I know she wants me to stay here for a night too, just so she can remember what it's actually like to have us all under the same roof again. She misses me living here, I've only been moved out for two years but she misses it. My mum understands that it was best for me to move out, but I know she hates that I had to.

It isn't her fault though, and she comes round all the time with fruit or pastries or anything she buys from the stalls because she still worries about me even though I'm a grown man. She never comes into my house empty handed, and she always makes sure I have food in my house.

It's nice to feel cared about by people sometimes.

"Not tonight I'm afraid." I told them, to which Harper frowned. "You can have a sleepover at mine this week if you want though?"

Harper was quick to nod and ten look at our mum for approval, thankfully she gave a nod of approval. Harper was going to stay over regardless, she always gets her way when it comes to me because I quite literally can't say no to her.

"Can you at least stay until bedtime?" She asked me. "George doesn't read to me at night."

I smiled, ruffling her dirty blonde curls, "Course I can."