How to write a crappy fanfiction

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*THIS CHAPTER IS MEANT TO BE SARCASTIC*

1. Pair two characters whose relationship will be toxic or problematic

Ex. Biyu (OC) x Edward Cullen

Ex. Hyun-ae (OC) x Jacob Black

Ex. Kasumi (Dead or Alive) x Edward Cullen

Ex. Tohru Honda (Fruits Basket) x Edward Cullen

Ex. Bayonetta x Edward Cullen

Ex. Morrigan Aensland x Edward Cullen

Ex. Sakura Kinomoto x Jacob Black

Ex. Alice x Jacob Black

Ex. Harry Potter x Edwawrr Cullen

2. Make one character berate and belittle the other for no reason.

3. Make one character insult and demean the other for no reason.

4. Make one character sexually assault the other.

5. Make one character cheat on the other.

6. Make the two characters fight all the time for no reason.

7. Make a character do the most idiotic and deplorable acts ever like eat a bed, drink menstrual blood, or poop in someone's backyard.

8. Make one character physically beat the other.

9. Make one character murder others in favor of their lover.

10. Make one character threaten violence against their lover if they don't listen to them.

11. Overall, make the characters do things that can get them arrested if one in real life.

12. Add things that don't make sense.


I want to make it clear that the pairing examples I made are pairings that I will never ship or NOTPs. Why would I want to ship Biyu with Edward Cullen? Why would I ship Morrigan with Edward?

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