A Red Romance

nerves - 37

I sit on the bathroom floor with the pee stick in my hand. I groan as I lean my head against the wall. I wanted to bash something. My nerves running high and my mind wanting to give up.

My birth control had expired weeks ago and I had no idea. I didn't know until I felt nauseous and couldn't go around certain smells. I had the doctor check it out and it had been expired. I didn't want to take a pregnancy test with the doctor, I wanted to do it alone.

So here I am, still holding it in between my fingers. A sigh leaves my lips as I finally look at it.

Pregnant

"Fuck me man," I sigh.

I hear the bedroom door open and I quickly get up and turn the sink on. Throwing the test into my makeup bag I sigh.

The bathroom door opens and I smile weakly. "Hey amore mio, you okay?" Killian asks as he kisses my shoulder.

"Yeah, just kind of tired."

The sun had set and Killian was finally home from the day.

"Let go lay down then yeah?"

I nod softly before turning the sink off. I dry my hands and we go lay down.

His hands wrap around my waist and I stare at them as they touch my stomach. Telling him seems scary and maybe he would be angry. I don't think he would be, but then again who knows. His lips press against my head before he slowly drifts off to sleep.

I climb my way out of his grip and head to the kitchen. I find Enzo sitting at the kitchen island. A glass of water in his hand and he looked exhausted. "Hey En," I sigh as I grab a glass for myself.

"What're you doin' up?"

"Can't sleep. You?"

"Same here," he sighs softly. "Can I talk talk you about something?"

"Yeah anything," I turn to face him. I stand across from him.

"I think I'm bisexual, not just gay I guess."

"Ok?"

"I like Terri. The bartender from the underground. We've been talking since we met and when me and Adrian broke up she was there for me. You were in Ukraine, so I mean no foul on your end," he chuckles. "But I think I love her?"

"Give it a try. See how things are and if you don't like it then don't push it. Don't force something that doesn't need to be forced ya know?"

He nods, "I just nervous she doesn't feel the same or what if she only wants to be friends?"

"Well talk to her. Bring to the party, you have two days to ask her. If she says yes, then it could be a date or it could not be. Don't ask her as a date! Ask as a friend and if she turns it into something more than two friends at a party then there's your answer."

He nods again, "okay. I will."

I run my hand through my hair and sigh softly. I stare at the counter top and slowly sip my water.

"What's wrong? You're doing that zoning out thing when you're stressed out."

"I'm- well I haven't even told Killian yet, but I found out I'm pregnant today." I sigh as I set my glass down.

"What?" He gasps slightly. "Really?"

I nod, "Yup. And I'm fucking terrified. I don't want Killian to be mad. I mean I was supposed to be on birth control, but it expired and I didn't know till it was too late."

"He fucked you, so that means he can't be mad. The only way he could be mad is if you cheated on him and I know damn well that you didn't or won't do that!"

I sigh again, "maybe you're right. He can still be upset though. I mean we both thought I was on birth control."

"So? He didn't know when it expired and neither did you. That isn't your fault. Nor is it his!"

"I guess you're right En."

"I always am babe!" He chuckles as he flips his non existent hair.

I laugh and roll my eyes, "haha."

The next two days pass fairly quickly. I stand in the bathroom staring at myself. My stomach looked just slightly bloated, not enough to actually notice though. I run my hand through my wet hair as I sigh.

I pull on my deep burgundy red sliky dress up. The slight v neck and the tops hugs my chest tightly. It slightly flares from my ribs to my feet. The dress even has pockets. A slit runs up the right side.

I fix the back and try to zip it up, but fail. I groan as I rest my head against the counter top. I jump as I feel hands against my waist. "You always need my help with these stupid things huh?" Killian smiles as he kisses my exposed shoulder.

I nod, "always."

He zips up the dress and I turn to face him. He wears a burgundy button down and black dress pants. A gold chain hangs from both of our necks. Bulky gold rings sits on his fingers and I smile as we wear one matching one. My engagement ring sits perfect on my finger. "You ready?" He asks.

I sigh, "as ready as I'll ever be."

"Nervous amore mio?" He asks before kissing my cheek.

"Yeah, a little." I fix my hair slightly and make sure my makeup looks okay.

"Everything will be okay baby."

I nod and we head to the car.

The driver then drives us to the huge venue. Glass from floor to ceiling. The building was maybe two stories and the roof looked cool. The huge arena type building help up to a couple thousand people.

"Alright baby, let's do this."

I hold Killian's hand as I climb out of the car. My matching burgundy heels click against the concrete and I run my hand through my hair.