Healing

13.

I wake up the next morning in a groggy mess.

I clutch my stomach and I roll myself into a little ball as I feel a sharp pain in my lower abdomen.

Of course it had to come today.

I internally scream as I get out of bed and make my venture to the kitchen which seemed like it took hours.

Finally, I reached the medicine cabinet. I take out the bottle that I knew would hold my pain killers and take it with a glass of water.

Standing their for a moment, I clutch the side of the countertop as I remind myself to breathe.

I hadn't had any mood swings in the past few days which usually happened before I got my period.

I sigh as I trudge onwards to the bathroom.

Today was going to be a long day.

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"Jazak Allah Khairan, Ilaria," I say as I get out of her car.

I had ended up asking her if she could drive me today, to which she eagerly accepted.

Just talking to her had put me in a slightly better mood.

Now, I was off to the cafe for my shift.

I walk in to find the place unusually dim. It takes a while for my eyes to adjust, but when they finally do I spot Omar sitting in the corner, swirling a cup of coffee and their were no customers to be seen. He seemed oblivious to my entrance and in another world altogether.

"Has it been slow today," I say. My voice comes out unusually squeaky and I cringe.

He turns his head around and squints. "Finally you're here." I walk behind the counter and put my bag down.

"My shift starts in 5 minutes so I'm actually early." Again, my voice sounds too high to belong to me. Why was I overthinking how my voice sounded?

"You can leave for today," he tells me simply.

"I don't want to," I say as I move closer to him. Even though he's sitting on the other side, I can see heavy eye bags and his eyes seemed slightly red.

He averts his gaze and turns his head to the side, as if he didn't want me to see. "I said you can leave, Cyra."

"But-"

"Leave," he repeats. This time, in a more forceful tone. Their was nothing rude or aggressive behind his voice.

We all wanted to be along one time or another, I knew that. I of all people understood that feeling very well.

I knew this, but my emotions were all over the place. I was overthinking his words and formulating them into things I knew he didn't actually mean.

So now my emotions decide to kick in.

"I don't know what happened, but if you want to talk about it-"

I was cut off by him, yet again. "If you want to stay then please don't cut into the silence."

I could feel heat rising into my cheeks. Fine.

"On any other day, I would listen to you but as Allah has it I am really not in the mood to deal with any of this. I also have somewhere else to be with someone who'll appreciate my presence a lot more than you will," I say as I try my hardest to maintain a calm tone. "So, before an argument can happen and as it seems that you would rather have anyone here but me, I will take my leave."

I turn around so that I don't have to see his face which holds a bit more pain from my words than I could bear.

Why had I even said that.