London's Calling : Ed Sheeran Fanfiction [Wattys 2015]

Chapter 27: Out Of My Mind

Leylah's POV :

They're going to tell Ed that I'm crazy. I just know it. As if he doesn't know that already. For God's sake, we met by my running into him while crying then passing out.

I had another nose bleed episode after I had a meltdown and the doctors told me that they had to sedate me to calm me down after I had slammed my head on the floor repeatedly.

I woke up in my bed with the worst headache that I  had ever felt and Ed holding my hand, asleep in a chair with his head rested on the bed.

I was in a completely different mood now and I could not even try to explain what had happened earlier. I snapped. I had had too much. It's still too much.

My entire family is dead and I'm stuck here in a hospital, just woke up from a coma and now they're going to keep me for even longer for what I did only hours ago.

It was dark outside now, the sun halfway through setting. The pastel and warm colors mixed and came through the window. I shook Ed.

I pushed his hair away from his eyes and lifted his head gently. "Ed love get up really quick." I said urgently.

He jolted up with fear, "Leylah, Leylah! You're awake!" he kissed my forehead in excitement. Smiling as he sat down next to me in the bed.

"Yes I am, but look at the sky Ed."

He looked out the window and relaxed against the pillows. "It's beautiful Leylah."

"I wanted to make sure you could see it before it went away for the night."

"Thank you." He grabbed my hand and made circles with his thumb. "How long have you been awake?"

"Not more than a few minutes, I woke you when I saw the sunset."

I rolled to my side and wrapped around him. "It's been too long since I've properly held you."

"I'd say so." He chuckled.

We sat and watched out the window until the while sun was gone and all that remained was the moon and stars.

"Ed."

"Yes love?"

"They think I'm crazy don't they?" His fingers looped around some of my hair and he didn't look at me.

"They don't think you're crazy Leylah."

"Do you?"

He looked at me almost betrayed. "Do you think that I would call you crazy or even think it?"

"Ed, you have seen me lose it so many times. You know how I am. Maybe I'm mentally insane and I need to stay here or in a mental hospital."

"Leylah, stop-"

"I can't Ed! I'm beginning to become really dangerous now. Not only to myself, but to you too. You can't tell me that you haven't been worried around me."

"No."

"Stop lying Ed."

He stood up and stood at the end of the bed.

"You think I'm lying? You think that I'm worried about my own life when the woman I love threatens her own every day? I'm just trying to help and be honest and you won't believe a word I say. What do you want from me? To tell you that you're crazy, that you need to be in a mental hospital? Will that make you happy? Do you even want me around anymore? I just seem to be a burden to you and I swear I'm making you worse." he was crying now.

"Ed, please, come here." I whimpered because I knew that now I had hurt him.

"I love you, but I need to be by myself" he said in a tone and I understood what he was getting at.

I had told him that I needed to be alone before my breakdown earlier. What had I done?

He walked out of the room and I hear a smack on the wall, his way of getting his frustration out.

Had I just lost the only love I had left because I had no hope in myself. I had complete disregard the fact that he was faithful and helped me for the past day, not to mention stayed by my side for 2 and a half weeks.

I found myself curled up in a ball, laying on the bed. I tried to smell what scent was left from him, but it was disappearing quickly. I rocked myself back and forth in tears, unable to stop.

The image that replayed over and over in my mind was that of Ed laying with dead eyes and covered in blood in his room again.

Horrified, I sobbed even harder, ignoring the constant pounding in my head.

I must have lulled myself to sleep because I woke up in the middle of the night wrapped up against someone's body. His arms were around me and he had lifted my head so I could rest on his arm. I lifted his sleeve to my nose and breathed in his smell,smiling again.

When I flipped over he wriggled his nose. 3:51.
I gave his nose a little kiss then sat and took in his face. Covered in ginger scruff, his skin was freckled. A pink spot over his left eye had been there since birth and I reached up to touch it.

Out of nowhere, his arm lazily grabbed mine and brought it away from his face and his eyes fluttered open a small amount. I waited for his words. He said nothing, but looked me in the eyes.

"I love you Ed. I'm sorry that I've made you feel that way. I feel awful and I don't even know how to apologize correctly or enough. You are my everything, you were before my family died and you always will be. I don't deserve the love and kindness that you give me every day, but I couldn't live without it." I started to tear up again and almost lost control of my tears. "I'm so sorry. I love you so much." I choked out.

He started at me a bit longer then pulled me close to his body and pressed his lips to mine. The kiss was deeper with every second passing. He pulled away and rested his forehead on mine. He had lifter his hand up my shirt a bit and rubbed circles on my hips.

"Will you marry me Leylah?"

"You want to marry me? I thought you were furious with me." I looked for answers in his eyes.

"I was furious. Then I just realized that I was furious that I had not made the best of our time together and I was focusing on the bad instead of the fact that you are alive and I get to be with you."

"I wouldn't dream of marrying anyone else Ed. I love you."

"Is that a yes?" he whispered.

"That's an absolutely."

He choked on his own tears now.

"Shhh, Ed baby. Don't cry." I wiped his face and pushed his hair from his eyes again to look into them.

I lost myself and fell asleep knowing that I was going to marry the love of my life.

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Guys I'm really tired, but thanks for the views and tell me what you think of his proposal! Hope you guys like it! Love you all. Stay beautiful X :) ❤