A Million Pieces - Hunger Games (Catching Fire & Mockingjay)

Chapter 37

"Do you think he'll ever come back?" she whispers. She leaves off the "to me", but I hear it anyway.

"I think he will," I say. "Eventually."

She takes a deep breath. "Do you know how you came back?"

"My family. And perseverance. But Katniss, I am far from whole, far from fully healed."

"But you're better than he is. How?" she pleads.

"I don't have a perfect answer, I'm sorry. But I guess... I try to remember as many of the real memories I have. The good ones, mostly, but sometimes the bad ones too. It helps ground me. Reminds me that I do know things, I do know myself." I pause. "It could help Peeta, but maybe you should try it yourself sometime." She nods absently. I hesitate. "Okay, Kitty, you want to know the one thing that I needed above all else? The thing I still remind myself every minute I'm with Caspian or Finnick or Coventina? It's that I want to recover. I want to get better. From the start, some part of me was desperate for my life and my family. Even though I was hijacked into hating them, I could tell they loved me. Peeta is desperate too. He loves you and there is a part of him trying to find you. Don't give up on him. Please, Katniss, he doesn't deserve that. He is so good. You know him. You love him. So, help him. Like he would do if he was in your place."

Finnick and Annie's wedding isn't just a big event for District 13, although they do seem starved for any kind of entertainment. It's important for our family. Although Finnick and Annie had chosen to be together despite everything - unlike Caspian and me - a wedding had never been imaginable. And now they are only days away.

Katniss offers to give Annie one of the dresses she has back in District 12, and Annie excitedly agrees, as long as I can come along. I'm a little uncomfortable about the whole situation: sharing Annie with Katniss, discovering a part of Katniss's life I never thought I would see, looking at all the dresses Cinna designed when I know Diana and Helen are dead, and having Katniss's prep team circle Annie and poke at me. I remember Adonis, Persephone, and Hebe's gentle hands and unexpected comfort. I wonder if Snow had them executed on live television and I just didn't see it. I wonder if everyone is keeping it from me. But then Annie emerges from the closet wearing a silk green dress, and I'm too pleased to think about anything else. It's simple, but it looks like it was woven from the colour of her eyes.

"You look incredible, Annie," I say softly, and she beams. I take her hands, suddenly overwhelmed with joy, and for a moment we just smile at each other. When we break away, I realise Katniss is watching us, so I say, "Thank you for this, Kitty."

While Caspian and Annie work to piece together the traditional wedding song from memory, Finnick asks me to help him weave the net that will be used for the ceremony. We're assigned an empty room for wedding preparations. Annie and Caspian hunch over the desk, Finnick and I sit cross legged on the floor. When Annie and Caspian explode into laughter about some lyrics that mean entirely the wrong thing, Finnick pinches my arm to get my attention. "We wouldn't have done this without you."

I blink, startled. The thought is both painful and heart-warming. "You shouldn't have waited. But I am really glad you did."

"I've adored Annie for years," Finnick says simply. "Getting married is wonderful, but we don't need a celebration and a certificate. This is about our family, all of us, and how far we've come. It's proof of how much we all love each other."

I smile, clutching the net in my hands. "Well, I love you a lot, Finn."

"Me too, Sapph," he says back. For a second we hold our gazes, and then he leans over and ruffles my hair and I swat him away. We go back to weaving the net with grins on our faces and Annie and Caspian still laughing in the background.