The Pakhan's obsession 18+

Chapter 17

Saskia

I've been in this room that resembles a hospital for two weeks recovering and Its been painful.I never want to get shot again.His punishment has me rethinking if it's worth it to get hurt again trying to escape.I was shocked when he told me it was going to be worse before I passed out.How could it possiblly be worse than what he did? The man carved his initials on top of my breast.Even though I didn't want the pregnancy I was scared about the baby.I didn't think I would be and was ready to get rid of it when I left.

Nikolai has been in this room the entire time.He ate here,showered worked and made business calls. I wanted to scream and fight him to leave me alone and give me space.He bathes me,feeds me,dresses me and sleeps beside me,the man doesn't make me do anything.I question if it's out of guilt because he doesn't show any emotions.Someone who does something like this can't possibly feel anything.He would mumble in his sleep about needing something but I can't make out what he says so I ignore it.I now know this is his country and it will be difficult to leave.I thought Vera was nice and caring but that was gone because she wanted to be rewarded.Nobody can be trusted.

When Nikolai left Alina came to visit  after she returned from the states but I didn't want to speak with her either.I can see the concern and hurt on her face and I felt a little guilty for dismissing her but didn't want to speak anyone.That's her brother and family, no matter what her loyalty is with him.If I say or do the wrong thing I can't stop her from telling him and get hurt again.I sigh and take another book.He brought five from the library when he realized I was bored but I didn't try to watch the television.I was never a tv person.

I look up from my new book as the door opens again.Nobody knows how to knock. I sigh when I see Andrei this time.Why won't people give me time to myself?
"How are you?" I try not to laugh at the question.Why would someone ask how a person is when you can clearly see they're in pain?

"Why are you here Andrei?" The tall man whose face is always neutral looks tired.I'm surprised by his features.He pulls up a chair and we sit and silently stare.
"Alina and I are sorry for all that you're going through.Please don't push Alina away she cares for you and tries to stay in Russia as long as she can since you've been taken.She's been working from here and we try to travel back and forth for the kids.Nikolai is unstable." I snort at that.Satan seems kinder than him."Many of us are afraid of the man including her but she willingly pushed away the fear to remain here.She even suggested that we move here to be closer and possibly help you out of this,so please don't continue to push her away." He says and he looks sincere.Even though I've known Andrei this might be the longest conversation we've had.He leaves before I can respond.

When the maid brings my lunch I ask her to call Alina.My mouth waters as I stare at the Mac and cheese I requested earlier.I lift the fork to my mouth and it feels strange.I haven't fed myself in two weeks.I continue eating and moaning at the cheesy goodness.
"Sas." I look up seeing Alina and I smile at her

"I'm sorry." I tell her and she runs over to hug me."My food!" I yell while laughing.I love her but I'll be pissed if it spills.She pulls away and wipes away her tears.I tell her I know what she's doing for me and I appreciate it all.It's sad that as I'm thinking I can't think of a time anyone else has fought this hard or wants to make sacrifices for me,my parents would usually say you can figure it out just try but they tried harder when Samuel needed anything.

"Andrei came here right?" She asks and I nod.She rants about how nosey he is but I can tell she's grateful.She takes the tray and scoops up the Mac and cheese and puts it to my lips.
"This family doesn't like when I lift a fork."
I take the bite as she stares at me confused.I tell her how her psycho brother would feed me every single meal.
" He does?" I nod and let her feed me the rest of my meal.I get full and start to get sleepy but it's still early.

"How are the kids?" She goes on to tell me they're doing well and have pictures they made for me in school.That makes me smile.
"You don't have to move here and take the kids from their life." I really don't want to be a burden to anyone else.I'm the one in this mess.She tells me it's fine and she was going to eventually move back and they can always travel for business.

I rest my head on her lap as I read my book."I don't know how I'll survive this,it's one thing to hurt me but will he hurt the baby?" I turn my head to stare at her when she doesn't answer.

"He won't.He's done alot of questionable things including hurting you which I'm still pissed about but I've never seen him hurt a child." I turn back to my book but can't focus on the pages.
"I'll save you even though I couldn't save him." My brows furrow and I glance at her but she gives me a sad smile.We sit in silence for the afternoon which felt nice.I wanted to be alone earlier but I'm glad she's here now.

I continue reading after she leaves.Books are my escape from the real world.In my fantasy world nobody can hurt me and I'm stronger.I look up when I hear the door open again and I see him in just sweatpants and his hair is still damp.He walks over and closes my book before curling into my body.I tense when he tells me to massage his scalp.I hesitantly do it because I:m not sure how he'll react.I feel his tense muscle visibly relax as I stare at his features.His face looks like he's in pain That's the most emotion I've seen from him other than anger