Chapter 1

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Something Blossoming

Nothing. There was still nothing. Laying in bed, I can see the tips of the trees out of my window. I can hear the birds chirping, wind blowing through my slightly cracked window. The sun was shining beautifully. I could tell by the slightly pale sky it was just after sunrise. Such a beautiful morning, anyone would wake up to this and feel as though it was a good day. And yet, I still felt nothing. I haven't since-
I exhale sharply.
No, we aren't thinking about that now. There are things to do. I roll out of bed on autopilot. All mornings start the same. Shower, get dressed, do my hair, do my makeup, and go eat breakfast. I make sure my skirt is straight, and I have no flyways in my dark long brown hair before I open my bedroom door to go eat. As I descend the stairs, I can smell the buffet waiting for me, and I hear the chatter of my family. I arrive in the kitchen, not bothering to put on my smile, they never notice anyway. What's the point of straining my face all day for a "family" that can't even look up from their phones, or paperwork.
My family has been wealthy for as long as I can remember. My mother has always been a successful lawyer, now representing some of the highest profile clients. My father was a stay at home dad until my sister and I reached an age where we could fend for ourselves, not that we didn't have servants, chefs, butlers at our beck and call to take care of us. After that, my dad started working as some sort of stock market dealer? I don't know. He never talks about it, and I never ask. Might not even be legal, for all I know.
My sister, the perfect child. She was gorgeous, caramel wavy hair, bright blue eyes, and pouty lips. She had it all. Not only that, but she was smart, she got into Harvard. My parents are proud of her, their prize child. How happy they are to have a choice of her suitors, so she can marry into money and my family can make more powerful friends. Unfortunately, she doesn't seem to think so highly of her self, throwing her self and any man who pays her a wink of attention, playing dumb in front of anyone whose not family, even though she's without a doubt always smarter than everyone in the room. It's a shame, really.
I wonder why. I wonder what thoughts keep her up at night to hate herself. Maybe, like me, she feels nothing too. Perhaps she throws herself at guys to feel something, anything. At least for a moment. Who knows though. My family has never been one to talk about feelings. Despite my astonishment towards my sister, she despises me. I'm not sure why.
As kids, we were best friends. Inseparable. And one day, we just weren't. She started shutting me out, ignoring me, making fun of me. So I stopped trying too. Staying out of her way. Until we became strangers living under the same roof.
I sat at the table, filling my plate with various foods set out for us. It didn't really matter what I picked up. It all tasted the same, bland. So, uninteresting.
"We are having some people over soon" my mom spoke, not bothering to look up from her phone, viciously typing away, probably a client. "We are upping security around here for the time being. Nothing to worry about. So each of you will have your own personal bodyguards. I don't want to hear complaints from either of you." she finished.
"Why do we need bodyguards?" I questioned. This is unusual. We have guards posted around the house. I don't understand why we would need more.
"The rest of the information is on a need to know basis" mom responded. Then she got up and left the table. As she entered the next room, I could hear her cheerfully talking to someone on the phone. Definitely work.
Interesting. Something certainly happened, they wouldn't meanlessly spend their precious money. So we undoubtedly require more guards, but why?
"Ooo I wonder if they are hot" my sister exclaimed. Yeah, she's definitely not empty inside. 
"Rose knock it off" my father huffed before following in my mother's footsteps leaving the table.
Leaving a scowl on my sister's face. Which only seemed to deepen when she turned back to face me. "What are you looking at!?" she spat before leaving the table as well.
I sigh. Typical morning. I decided to get up as well. Heading back to my room. As I ascend the stairs, I receive a text from the family group chat.
Mom: Everyone make sure you are presentable when they arrive. Remember, pastels and neutrals only.
I groan after receiving the text. My mother always coordinates our outfits for the public and guests. Looking in from the outside, we are the perfect happy family, in love, and in touch. But it couldn't be further from the truth. I make it to my room and decide to change. I keep on my white pleated skirt, changing into a tank top that is a baby blue and throwing over a soft lavender knitted sweater. Wearing my ruffled socks and baby doll Mary Jane shoes. I stare at myself in the mirror. I look like the perfect daughter they want me to be.
I practice my smile in the mirror, it looks dead. I try again and again. Trying to make it look as genuine and happy as possible. But it's no use. The smile never reaches my eyes. No matter how hard I try, they always look lifeless. Nothing. There it is again. It's always nothing. No feelings, no happiness, no interests. Nothing. I am nothing.

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