When the line between "need" and "want" gets blurred...
To the outside world, they're just good friends. But the truth is, Taehyung isn't entirely sure what they are to each other.
Kim Taehyung, rising soccer star.
Jung Hoseok, team physician.
...
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Taehyung took his jacket off and looked around the crowded room, his heart beating so rapidly he felt a little dizzy for a moment. He shouldn't be here. What was he doing here? Why had he listened to jungkook, of all people?
Because that's what you wanted all along, whispered a voice in the back of his mind. Because Jungkook was just the last push he had needed. Because Hoseok had been wrong. Time didn't help. If anything, he felt shittier with every passing day, losing interest in everything. Even football.
Even.... his son. Even Jiwoo.
He could no longer deny that something was wrong with him. He could remember his love for football, his attraction and love for Jiwoo, his dreams about a family, but he couldn't feel any of those things anymore. It was like something was broken inside of him, something that had stopped working right. Sometimes he wondered if there had always been something fundamentally wrong with him, and Hoseok was the reason he could feel love at all. He used to be happy with Jiwoo, but he used to receive an abundance of love from Hoseok at the same time.
He might have underestimated how much his relationship with Hoseok affected his state of mind and his relationships with other people. Now that Hoseok was gone, he couldn't feel a thing anymore— anything besides the feeling of incompleteness and disconnection from the world. Fuck, it was beyond messed up.
And the worst part was, apparently Hoseok didn't feel the same way. Apparently, Hoseok was fine. More than fine. Apparently, Hoseok was too busy snogging some Americans to miss him at all.
"Hi! Looking for someone?"
Taehyung flinched and turned his head. A blond guy was looking at him curiously, but there wasn't even a flicker of recognition in his eyes. Here, across the pond, few people recognized him.
"Yeah, actually," Taehyung said. "Hoseok?"
"I think he's in the kitchen." The guy motioned to his left.
Muttering his thanks, Taehyung headed there, his legs somewhat unsteady.
He came to an abrupt halt in the kitchen doorway.
Hoseok wasn't alone. He had some guy all over him. They were kissing. Hoseok's hands were on Johnny's ass and Johnny was moaning and practically rutting against Hoseok, his fingers in Hoseok's hair.
For a long, painful moment, it felt like Taehyung's heart stopped beating. He had trouble breathing. So it was true. It was all true.
He must have made some noise because Hoseok ended the kiss and turned his head.
Hoseok went utterly still. Their gazes locked and the noise of the party seemed to die away. Taehyung's heart hammered in his ears.
