Let Go

7: Heaven In Hiding

Harken's pov:

“Why do I have to wear the lenses, mom?” I asked Amanda. I thought my eyes were a pretty shade of grey. She made me hide them behind contacts that turned them into a dark green.

“You wear them because your eyes are too pretty,” Amanda lied to me. It wasn’t the first lie, but it sure was one of them. I wish I had known back then the extent of her lies. “And you need to look more like your brother,” That wasn’t much of a lie, but it was a little worse. How dumb of a kid was I to not know that Blake and I weren’t really siblings?

I thought of the clues and the secrets and the telltales that were so obviously laid before my eyes. I had to cut myself some slack, though. How much does a kid know, anyway?
Well let me tell you; it was a lot. You just don’t realise it’s something bad until later on. When it’s too late.

The Harken that went to school was different than the Harken that lived at home. Funny how I used to call it home.

People like me never had homes; just temporary houses.
I walked to class with Blake and Sean, Blake’s friend. Blake was one year older than I was, and Sean was his age. I never really hit it off with them, but Blake was forced to be my friend just like I was forced to be his.
It was just me who had to wear all the makeup.

Don’t remove your contacts.

Don’t wash your face.

Don’t reveal yourself to anyone.

Rules and mantras Amanda and Blake used to repeat over and over again until they became etched into my brain.
I wanted nothing but to be alone.

I finished classes and went to the library to work on some homework. It was silent, with only two students in my sight. I recognized them; they were harmless.

I took a seat at the table next to the window. It gave me a view of the trees that surrounded the football field, and a good view of what was visible of Hilltown. It wasn’t much, but I liked seeing more of what I was offered.
“May I sit with you?” Aiden’s voice broke me out of my reverie. I nodded. He sat down gently, placing his bag atop of the table, then he dropped his head on top of it.

“I’m gonna nod off for ten minutes.” He whispered.

“Wake me up if I don’t get up on my own.” And with that his breathing slowed down, and he actually fell asleep.
Exams were approaching, so no one was getting much sleep. I examined what I was offered. A small part of his face was visible. His skin was darker than mine, and his hair was a black mess. I wanted to run my hand through it. I wanted to comfort him in his sleep. I wanted to tell him that I was here, next to him.

I didn’t.

Aiden and I stayed on that rhythm for most of the school year. Sometimes I liked to think that he came to the library afterhours just to see me. Sometimes it felt like it was real.
Truth is it was me who kept going to the library to see him.
No matter what it was to him, to me it was real.

“I’ve barely gotten any sleep,” he said, getting up and stretching. His mouth turned into an O as he yawned. It made me smile a little. Then I yawned because it was contagious.

“Exams?” I asked. I had always kept my replies short with everyone, and Aiden was no exception.

“Yeah, I’m swamped,” he stammered and couldn’t meet my eyes.

“What’s wrong?” I knew he was keeping something to himself, but it was trying to get out nonetheless.
He got lost in his head for a few moments, considering whether it was a good idea to tell me the little secret of his or not.

“Let me get a head start on my physics assignment and I’ll tell you after that.”

He didn’t tell me.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to tell me, but he forgot and I didn’t remind him.

Our secret small meetings kept happening day after day. Library time was the only break I got from Blake. Being with him all the time was suffocating. I much rather preferred the company of Aiden Haile rambling without waiting for a reaction. I was thankful for that.
We passed our exams. I did better than Aiden, but I did study more than him. He liked to talk more than to study.
After the exams were over, Aiden still showed up to the library.

However, his eyes were getting darker and darker each day. He slept even less than he did when we were cramming for exams. Dark circles decorated his eyes, and I thought mom’s concealer would do wonders to them.

“Something’s been eating you up,” I stated dryly. I wasn’t trying to pry his secrets out of him, but it pained me to see him lose energy and sleep.

“You’re not wrong,” he said, “but I don’t think I should talk about it because it’s not my place to do so, you know?” I didn’t know. “But it has to do with my brother, and it’s just a lot to take in,” He blabbered. “Can you keep a secret?” he asked. Was I able to keep a secret? I smiled. If only you knew.

“Like a lock to a key,” I said, and it made me think of getting a key tattooed on me somewhere. The wrist maybe.

“What is that supposed to mean?” His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He looked absolutely adorable and muddled.

“Yes, Aiden, it means yes,” I answered. “The real question is, do you trust me with a secret?”

He gave me a lookover with a grin slowly making its way across his lips. “Yeah, weirdly enough, I do, Red,” He liked calling me Red, but I hated that word so much. Blake was Red. Amanda was Red. I was Vermillion at my best.

“It’s about my brother,” Aiden hesitated, lowering his voice. “He’s dating someone he really shouldn’t be dating, and he has been hiding things from me,”

“You can’t expect him to tell you everything about his life, no?” I asked but he was right. Blake was bad news.

“I know, I know, but,” he took a deep breath, “he isn’t the type to sneak outside the house, or keep secrets that serious from me. We are too close for that. He didn’t even tell me who he really liked, and I’ve been mulling over it for weeks now,”

It was good to hear him let things out. I had to listen, but I couldn’t do anything about it. I was only there to watch the Haile brothers’ demise when I was in love with one of them.

That day, I went ahead and got my first of many tattoos that would follow; a key on my wrist, right by the edge of my shirt so it remained hidden. And when I had to wear a shorter sleeve, Amanda’s concealer worked just as fine on my wrist as it did on my face.

I was hiding in lies anyway.

A/N: another day, another chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. If you did, vote. If you like to say anything, comment.

Thank you so much for 1k. It seems like the more stories I write the faster the milestones I reach and that is all because of you!

More soon x.