everlasting ✧˚ · . jaywon

REST. 007

Jungwon doesn't know when was the last time he went to the same rooftop of Jay's apartment. He went there earlier than usual, and somehow, he felt nervous. He feels anxious and the thought of Jay makes him feel uneasy. He texted Jay a while ago that he's already there, and seeing a message from Jay that he was coming, he expects Jay to arrive sooner or later.

It didn't last long when he heard footsteps approaching him. Looking back, Jungwon purses his lips into a thin line as he watches Jay sit down beside him, Jay's eyes never meeting his cat-like ones as the older only stares ahead of them.

Almost like he's scared to look at Jungwon's eyes. Jungwon looks away, too, his palms feeling clammy. Though it's the same rooftop they visited more than three times together, it still feels utterly different. The cold air feels even colder, if that actually makes sense. The atmosphere between them seems suffocating and uncomfortable. Jay, stealing a glance at Jungwon's side figure, only sighs.

His view seems so familiar, but so different at the same time, and Jay hates it. Jungwon looks at him, too. During these times, Jungwon would have smiled at him without saying anything else, but this time, Jungwon only stares at him with the same dull look on his face as he mutters, "well then, let's get this over with?"

Jay looks away and nods. He feels like crying. Letting out a forced chuckle as he attempts to joke to lessen the tension, Jay says— trying his best to make his tone seem lighthearted despite the fact that his insides felt like crushing. "You really wanna get rid of me so bad, huh?"

Jungwon only stays quiet. Jay hates it. He hates how everything is going. He despises how different Jungwon had become.

"Okay..." Jay sighs again, looking at the city lights they used to look at together. The older feels small under Jungwon's gaze. "I just.. wanted to tell you something."

"Alright," Jungwon blankly says, his eyes still staring at Jay. He catches how Jay took a breath and the pained smile on his face. He looks at Jungwon, their eyes meeting, and that's when Jungwon saw the raw emotions that Jay's eyes told. Contrast to Jay, Jungwon's eyes only harden like concrete blocks covering his emotions.

"I'm sorry," Jay tells Jungwon.

Jungwon furrows his eyebrows a bit. Confusion enveloped him. "Why?"

Jay wants to look away from Jungwon so bad, but he keeps still as he continues, his voice softening. "Please forgive me. If.. If I did something wrong to you that I wasn't aware of. Please forgive me."

Jungwon tears his gaze away from Jay and ends up looking at the moon. "Okay," is all Jungwon says. The moon is there again, watching them. Maybe even the moon is sad, for how much both of them changed.

One who used to be happy turned cold-hearted and almost emotionless. One who used to be happy for the latter became sad and desperate to get him back.

"Is that all?" Jungwon glances at Jay.

"No..." Jay frowns. He looks away from Jungwon. "I.. never got to know the reason why you're like this."

"I never agreed to tell you anything," Jungwon says.

"Alright. But," Jay looks at him once again. "Last question. Is it because of something I did? You don't have to tell me anything, just say yes or no... Even if it's just half of the truth."

Jungwon hesitates for a while. He ends up sighing as he shakes his head. "No."

"Then why—"

"That was your last question," Jungwon cuts him off. "If you don't have anything else to say, I'll leave."