Fairy Tale of New Lawke (NaNoWriMo)

Chapter 21- Adaline

The scream that ripped Adaline from a peaceful sleep sent shivers through her. She knew instantly what her sister-in-law had found, though she hoped she was wrong. Elliot sat upright and alert beside her, still naked. Not looking his way, she hastily pulled her pyjamas back on, rushing out of the room to find Dean equally horrified outside his room. She vaguely saw Elliot scoop Joshua into his arms as she ran down the stairs stopping instantly at the living room door. Mary was a weeping heap on the floor, hand shakily pointing towards Dottie. She's sleeping. She's just sleeping. Adaline silently begged her mother to open her eyes, to tell them all she'd got them. Of course, that did not happen. Adaline fell to her knees ignoring the sharp pain that shot through her legs upon impact. Dean stood, desperately trying to wait their other, hands on her shoulders rocking her back and forth shouting her name.

It was like something out of a movie. It couldn't be real. It just couldn't. She and Mary held each other as they sobbed, Dean weeping down the phone to their family doctor before phoning the local funeral director as instructed. It was a waiting game now. Mindlessly reaching for the television remote, Adaline changed the channel again and again until she found Tipping Point.
"There you go mum," she whispered, resting her head on her mother's lap. She was cold. So very cold; even through her clothing and throw. A sickening smell invaded Adaline's nostrils. She sniffed the air trying to locate it. A loud cry escaped her as realisation hit. The smell came from her mother. Pulling the throw back, a brown mass was clearly visible.
"We can't leave her like this."

Between the three of them, they cleaned the faeces that stuck to Dottie and changed her clothes before the funeral director arrived. He found Adaline brushing her mother's hair, singing softly at her. He hated his job sometimes - hated the pain written on the family of the deceased's face when he came to claim the body. Hated the denial and anger many felt. This situation was no different. He looked at Adaline in pity and the still hot cup of coffee she'd recently made for her mother. It was a scene he had seen more times than he cared to count. He knew family members wanted to maintain their loved one's dignity. There is no dignity in death. You can love with dignity you can't die with it, he often found himself thinking - Hugh Laurie's voice storm in his head whenever the quote from House came to him. It may have been a fictional television show, but Hugh was right. Death was a truly undignified matter no matter what way you looked at it. It's how he knew the family had cleaned Dottie, had tried to make her look presentable not knowing their attempts though sweet would do little to change the truth that more indignity was to come for her.

No one spoke. No one touched the coffee sat in front of them. No one looked up when Elliot walked into the kitchen, sitting beside them head hung low. Dottie was gone. Truly gone. Only Elliot and Adaline moved their heads as his phone vibrated across the table. He looked at her, eyes filled with pity as he opened the message. She hated that look. Hated that he was feeling sorry for her. Dean and Mary stood silently leaving the pair behind as they made their way upstairs to check on their son. So much for the perfect Christmas, Adaline thought, the image of Dottie covered in a plastic sheet being carted from her home forever etched into her brain. She closed her eyes, breathing deeply trying to think of something else - anything else. She'd lost so much over the years. A husband, a child, both of her parents. It dawned on her that she was an orphan. It's amazing how such a simple word can inflict such tremendous pain. Orphan. She needed to be strong for Dean. For Joshua. They needed her just as she needed them.

It was Bonnielola she had heard Elliot say. She'd all but forgotten their Boxing Day plans. Had almost forgotten that he was with her at all. He wanted to know if she'd be okay without him. Would she? Would she be okay in the solitude of her grief? She wasn't so sure. She certainly didn't want to find out. Losing her father had hurt, she'd spiralled out of control - drinking and experimenting with illegal substances. Losing Christopher and their child had hurt, sending her into a depressive episode she'd not long since crawled out of. Suicidal thoughts had become her most frequent companion in the months following their deaths. She didn't know what she would do now that Dottie had left her too. The numbness was too heavy a cloud right now for her to think straight. She couldn't control the sobs, her head hurting as all the rage and pain escaped the only way it could. She needed out. Her chest became tight the thought of being alone sending her into a frenzy. She needed out. She heard the words escape her lips before her brain registered them. Felt her body rise, legs move without being told. Before she could understand what was happening, Elliot was knelt before her helping her get dressed. A look in his eyes that told her she could get through the day. She needed him.

Bonnielola had bounded out the front door a ball of excitement. Smile, just smile, Adaline told herself, plastering the biggest fake smile s her could muster. She held the child close, scared to let go. To lose her as well. Her heart couldn't take losing anyone else she loved, and she had truly come to love this little girl as her own. Elliot's hand gripped Adaline's thigh, squeezing gently. She stared it unable to move. With Bonnielola unable to see her face the smile fell. She had to focus on her breathing. Focus on not falling apart. She couldn't ruin the day for Bonnielola. Couldn't ruin her Christmas.

Bonnielola had run ahead of them as soon as Elliot unlocked his front door. Her squeal at the mountain of presents was music to Adaline's ears. Finally the silence they'd endured in the car was broken. She needed noise and lots of it. Noise helped drown out the pain. Wrapping paper flew in the air like little butterflies, landing in any vacant space. Gasping as she turned the box of a gift she'd just opened Bonnielola ran to hug her dad. Remember the gift bag containing Bonnielola's Christmas presents, Adaline held it out - the fake smile not wavering for a second. Bonnielola's eyes widened as she pulled out her gifts holding each up for her father to marvel at. He looked at Adaline, eyes silently thanking her.
"Why don't you take your toys into your room," Elliot said grabbing a black bag from a kitchen drawer. Bonnielola stacked as many toys as she could into her tiny arms and shuffled to the bedroom, toys falling in a trail behind her. Saying nothing Adaline began to fold boxes and discard them. She wanted to say something, to say anything, but words seemed to fail her. Not knowing what else to do she stuck the kettle on knowing the drink would turn cold before she remembered she'd made it. She could feel Elliot beside her, the warmth radiating against her skin. She wanted him to hold her; to lie to her and tell her everything would be okay, but he didn't.
"... stay here?"
She blinked at him, trying to piece together what he was saying.
"I'll stay here if you don't mind. I can't bare the thought of being there right now," she hoped her response made sense. Hoped he didn't mind the intrusion. She didn't know what else to do, what else to say. Wrapping her arms around his waist she held him close breathing in the musky scent of day old aftershave. It had only just occurred to her that he hadn't changed out of yesterday's clothes. His fingers gently stroked the skin at the bottom of her spine, the comfort she'd been longing for.

Adaline hadn't eaten much of the dinner Elliot had prepared. Had stabbed the vegetables, moving them about her plate. She could feel his eyes on her as she forced a piece of chicken down her throat. She was exhausted and thankful for Bonnielola heading to bed. It gave her the opening she needed to lie down and sleep herself. She hoped she'd wake back in the spare room, her mother shuffling about the cottage. That it would simply be a vivid nightmare. Bonnielola was warm against her, curled in a ball fast asleep. She could hear Elliot pottering about the flat, before she felt herself drift into a fitful sleep.

The bed dipped beside her before a weight shifted and she was alone. Eyes slowly adjusting to the darkness, Adaline could just about make out Elliot's figure carrying the sleeping Bonnielola into the other bedroom. She closed her eyes, waiting for sleep to claim her again yet terrified to return to the dream she'd been having. Everyone she'd lost had surrounded her, decomposed and screaming begging her to save them. A small sob escaped her. She couldn't do it. She felt softness brush her forehead before another dip in the bed, this time a permanent weight beside her. She wanted him to hold her, to keep her safe while she slept.
"I love you Adaline Jones,"
Her eyes flung open. She could hear his breathing change, knew instantly he'd fallen asleep. He loved her. Her! The woman who'd spent all day in near silence. Rolling to face him, laying her head upon his chest a single tear falling onto his skin she sighed.
"I love you too Elliot."