BOYFRIEND | takahashi ran

47. who turns on the AC on a winter night?

you were basically blind. you prayed hard that you weren't walking into anything with every small step you took. you were relying solely based on your memory of his room's layout. careful to not fall or bump into anything, you stretched your hands out subtly as you tried to feel for something... nothing. to top it all off, the cold was causing the tip of your fingers to go numb.

is his AC switched on? why is it turned on in the winter?

you couldn't help but think.

you contemplated simply switching on the room lights and switching off the air conditioner but you didn't want to overstep your boundaries, especially in the position the both of you were in. you didn't want to cause him further discomfort with your presence.

you gently knocked into something hard and sturdy, bringing you back to reality. you reached out as you bent down to feel what it was.

soft fabric.

you actually found his bed.

you carefully walked along the sides of the bed before coming to a halt. you could feel the AC blow from directly above you but that didn't stop you from sinking down to sit by his bedside.

" ran? "

still no response.

you sighed as you pulled your legs towards your chest.

" i don't know if you're asleep or not but i came here to apologise, " you started off, " i'm sorry about... everything. "

you nervously tugged on your sleeves as you waited.

no reply.

" i heard from mama that you have been feeling really stressed and have been overworking your body, " you continued as you anxiously toyed with your fingers, " i never wanted any of this to happen. do you know how much it b-breaks my heart to see you suffer? "

your nose turned sour as you let out the raw emotions you didn't know you were holding in, " you mean the world to me and it hurts that you can't even confide in me. i am here. i have always been here. but it feels as if you don't need me anymore. "

you held your breath in an attempt to stop the hot tears threatening to fall from your eyes but to no avail. you didn't know what it was but your heart was hurting so badly, the only way you knew how to cope was to cry.

" do you know how heavy my heart felt when your mom told me that you had an injury and you refused to see a doctor just so that you can continue practicing? are you going crazy? " you were basically ranting at this point in time, " you- i- i'm so angry at you. seriously, you're not a child so why are you acting like that? why do you make everyone worry? i can't understand why you put your body in danger in this manner. i- i'm so angry at you... "

you cried as you buried your head behind your hands.

" ... and at myself, " you softly chocked out, " i'm sorry i failed to notice anything... i am a horrible, horrible girlfriend and you deserve someone that you can trust. i'm so sorry. "

for some reason, saying all that broke your heart even more. the words were out. you said it. every word you spoke was a true depiction of your emotions and it made you feel so vulnerable.

it felt as if the darkness in his room furter enveloped you and swallowed you up. you felt small.

" i- i am so sorry, " you apologised once more as you hit down on your bottom lip hard which was quivering with your every word.

but just before the darkness finally consumed you, you felt a warm embrace from behind. you could feel a head rest of your left shoulder as a pair of arms wrapped around your shoulders from behind. you could feel a mane of hair brushing against your naked, cold neck.

" please stop... crying, " you heard your boyfriend say in a husky tone, " i hate to see you cry. "

you wanted to turn your head back to give takahashi the biggest hug but he stopped you.

" don't turn around, " he ordered while still keeping a tight grip around your shoulders, " i can't be angry at your face. "

you felt his warm breath stroke your neck like heater on a cold winter day. it was so bittersweet.

" why were you with sakamoto earlier? " he asked as he pulled you closer to him, as if your bodies were magnetic.

" we became co-workers started today and he offered to walk me home, " you truthfully replied as you sniffed up the mucus threatening to run down your nose.

" nothing else happened? " takahashi questioned.

" nothing happened. "

" i believe you, " he almost whispered as you felt his body relax against yours.

" huh? wait really? " you subconsciously blurted out in disbelief before mentally slapping yourself.

that took much less than you thought.

" why would someone who doesn't like me cry so uglily over me, " takahashi teased, breaking the tense atmosphere.

" hey... i am still really worried, " you said out ofc concern, " it's not funny okay! "

" haha sure sure whatever you say love, " takahashi replied as he kissed your cheek, sending shivers up your spine.

" cold? "

" yeah, very, " you replied, still not understanding why he decided to switch on the air conditioner on a cold winter night.

" alright then, " he acknowledged as he ushered you onto the bed before turning on the lights and switching off the air conditioner.

maybe it was from the heat of his sheets or maybe it was from the warmth of the now stagnant air, but the icy sharp pain in your heart was slowly thawing.

シ takahashi really said elsa type shit ❄️

and...here comes the serious part:

*sigh*

as i previously mentioned, national exams would be coming up real soon and i definitely would not have time to upload... worst cast scenario is that i get so busy that i am completely unable to produce a single chapter in a while 😔

however!

i will still (hopefully) be posting content related to this book. maybe a Q&A with the characters (or author pft) or a visual of the characters that came out of my head (hana, yukio sakamoto, mr manager etc.) or mood boards or idk... i will try to give something :"

this period is going to be a really important time in my life so i really have to do well for this exam. it's kinda like college entrance exams so 🙏🏻 please pray for me please please chemistry god 🙏🏻 math god please 🙏🏻 this shet driving me crazy fr 😞