Veiled | JHS | ✓

What you would do

"I lost that chain a long time ago. Now, he has it, and... I felt it. But that's impossible..."

"Kim Namjoon."

Queen Yama's whisper was as soft as a feather but it held enough power to bring him back to reality. NJ peered down at the stone floor with a meek apology but the queen only smiled, an all-knowing glint sparkling from her eyes as she spoke "What you fear is true."

The angel whipped his head up. "D-does that mean..."

"Yes. The one you met wasn't the Vile one." Queen Yama grinned.

"I believe you've met him. The soul you've unintentionally created."

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Hoseok felt horrible. He felt like a criminal. Dirty, tainted, unrestrained... like a monster.

He didn't have the right to walk within those hallways, among the innocent, pretending as if nothing had happened. He didn't have the right to laugh and pose like a normal human. As if he were part of them. But what else could he do?

Was it too much to ask for just to be like any other human?

There was something inside of him that he didn't know before and he wanted to find out exactly what it was. The urge to know what he was, to know why he was different, and why he never felt like himself was overwhelming him now. It was suffocating him.

Even the angel who had come to take him back to hell but simply left after observing his bracelet yesterday did not explain to him but Hoseok hadn't failed to catch the look of understanding that had passed through him as he released his hands and vanished. He knew something, he was sure.

Hoseok felt guilty. He didn't have the will to pretend as if everything was fine. It was especially hard when he came across her. She brought something in him that he kept hidden inside of him. He had to stay away. For if he didn't, he didn't know what he would do to her next time he lost touch with reality.

 But his plans were crushed that very evening.

Sia Winters marched straight to a place where she knew he was, out of her very own will.

He sat on a bench partly hidden among the trees, reading a book. She could tell that his mind was not in it as he flipped through the pages, a frown marring his face. "Jung Hoseok."

Hoseok jumped at the sound as he lowered the book. Panic defined his features with definite notes of guilt. "Ah, Winters..."

She waited, her eyes gazing straight at him. That gesture seemed to make him even more jittery. He shifted in his seat as he avoided looking into her eyes. Finally, he gathered his will to speak. "Sia Winters...I'm sorry. I know that it won't do anything to make it any better. I know nothing can justify my actions but..." he sighed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do it. I lost control. I don't know what came over me."

Hoseok looked up to gauge her reaction but all he got in return was a doubtful stare and a single bat of her eyes. 

"Follow me."

He didn't know what prompted him to follow her. Maybe it was the guilt. Maybe it was that need to do something to redeem his actions. He followed. He wasn't expecting her to lead him to a cafe far away from the campus. A small building that was frequented enough to have a business but deserted enough that no one would overhear whatever she had to say to him. 

Hoseok fidgeted in his seat as she placed the order and as soon as the staff was out of earshot, she shifted her gaze back to him. He didn't have it in him to meet her eyes. Instead, he gripped the table as he asked. "Why did you ask me to follow you here?"

"So that I could get some answers from you." It seemed as if she came prepared for this confrontation. As if she was determined to get the answers to the questions he had no answers to.

"What... even are you?"

Hoseok was taken aback by the disapproval in her tone but he didn't say anything about it. He figured he deserved it.

"A wizard." He replied. He didn't know how but he had always known what he was. It was the one thing that he always refused to accept but now that he had said it aloud, he knew there was no going back. His grip on the table tightened.

If Sia had any judgment on his statement, she hid it well, appearing unaffected by his words. She stared at him for a few silent seconds before she moved on. "Are all of your kind so...like that?"

Like a monster? Heartless, wicked beings? Even though she didn't say it aloud, her tone conveyed everything it needed to say.

"I don't know. I have never met any of my kind before."

Sia blinked. Then she sighed. "Look I will get straight to the point then." She said, "If you know you're like this and that you can't control it, should you be here pretending to be normal?"

Hoseok's shoulders tensed at her question. He looked up, his brows furrowing. "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean, shouldn't you do something about it instead of walking around, being a potential danger to us normal humans? If you have even a bit of humanity left in you, shouldn't you do something?"

Hoseok didn't say anything for a long moment. He just sat there in silence. Finally, a bitter grin spread across his lips. "So, what do you want me to do?"

Sia opened her mouth to say something but he cut her off, "Should I kill myself?"

"Whoa, whoa dude. I didn't say that--"

"Then what? Should I lock myself up in a cage-like some kind of wild animal? Should I isolate myself and just starve myself to death? Why? I must deserve it, I am a monster after all." He snapped, his voice growing strained and hoarse. 

Something about his voice or the way he was restraining himself must have affected her. She fell silent, her wide eyes watching him. "I...I didn-"

"Let me ask you something then?" He asked an eyebrow raised in earnestness. "Would you do it if I were you?"

Sia blinked.

"What would you do if I were you?".

She didn't have a response except to sit there staring back in surprise. She opened and closed her mouth, unable to find a reply. Hoseok's eyes had such a sort of intensity that could make one speechless, even when it wasn't ringed with a certain circle of fire. 

He didn't wait too long for a reply. Her silence was enough of an answer. "I'm leaving."

He stepped out of the cafe into the bright afternoon sunlight, his eyes squeezed shut as he tried to calm his racing mind. A bitter laugh passed his lips as he walked away.

"God, this is so unfair."

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A/n: Ig this is the point where some might hate Sia but you should know, the world isn't always perfect...