DM #3: Sage Madriaga

Kabanata 12

Kabanata 12

Jealous

I felt proud for being so calm. Kahit sa totoo lang ay hindi ko na maintindihan ang sarili. I don't know what I'm feeling right now, all of this is new to me. Sa lahat ng mga nakita o narinig galing sa dalawa, nakakapagtataka na ngayon lang ako naapektuhan.

But I did the right thing, I gave them the privacy they need. It's inappropriate for me to listen to such a mature conversation. They're just talking about the kisses they shared, but maybe the thing that pushed me to call it a mature convo is because I know the possibility that something more happened between them.

They're matured enough to do that... even it will based on what Sage told me that they're not together.

I'm too young to think about something like that and I felt embarrassed. But I don't want to limit the way I think. I overthink things so that in the end, I won't be disappointed with anyone's action. Iyon lang siguro ang positibo sa bahaging iyon.

Kahit naman ano ang iniisip ko, maging positibo man o hindi, wala namang makakaalam maliban sa akin. I'm not talkative and I'm not open with anyone. Madali lang para sa akin itago ang mga sikreto na mayroon ako.

I'm too calm, nakaya ko pang ngitian si Manang na nakasalubong ko. Sa huli, wala akong ibang mapupuntahan kundi ang kwarto ko lang.

Dumiretso ako sa hagdan at tinahak ang pasilyo patungo sa kwarto. Pabigat ng pabigat ang dibdib ko habang papalapit. Maaga pa pero biglang nakakapagod.

I sighed and opened the door. Agad akong pumasok at akmang isasara ko nang may pumigil. My eyes widened a bit when I saw him.

"Let's talk," he said softly while holding the top part of the door.

Mabilis akong nakabawi. Pinanatili ko ang medyo nakasara ng pintuan, hindi na inabala buksan iyon para sa kanya.

"Is there a problem?"

Nakita ko ang pagdaan ng dilim sa kanyang mata. Pinanatili ko ang kalmadong ekspresyon.

If this frustrates him, he should be the problem. I didn't do anything to him, I even give them the privacy they will need.

Natahimik siya habang pinapanood ako. Sinigurado kong hindi magpakita ng kahit anong reaksyon.

After seconds of staring at me, he sighed heavily.

"I want to talk to you," he said gently.

Bahagya kong binuksan pero hindi pa rin sapat na tuluyan siyang makapasok.

Hindi ko alam kung tama bang papapasukin siya o hindi. I don't want to be rude, but it will look inappropriate. But then... we're friends. Hindi ko na alam kung tama ba ang iniisip ko ngayon.

I bit the insides of my cheek and opened the door for him. Mas lalong nagdilim ang kanyang ekspresyon. He looks dark, but the way he talks to me is the opposite.

"Would it be okay if I go inside?" maingat na sabi niya.

My face heated as I nodded.

"I-I will just open the door... while we talk," sabi ko at hinayaan nga ang pintuan na nakabukas.

I don't know what's the purpose of that. Tahimik ang buong mansyon kaya posibleng walang makakarinig sa pag-uusapan namin. Kung may makarinig naman, hindi dapat ako mag-alala dahil lang sa siya ang kausap ko.

I looked at him and immediately looked away. Nananatili siyang nakatayo, mukhang walang balak maupo.

I sat at the edge of my bed and motioned him to sit on my sofa, but he didn't even glance at it. Nananatili ang tingin niya sa akin, tahimik na nanunuri.