Wednesday, August 28, 2019
Paris, France
Ariana POV
My heart was beating out of my chest as I looked at my phone and tapped on the icon to answer. "Hey babe." I said, trying to seem as normal as possible. Does he know?
"Hi! Or good morning! How was your sleep?" So far so good. Maybe he doesn't know... and will never know.
"I slept well, what are you up to?" I said. Keep it cool...
I heard background sounds, "I'm walking home from work now. My shift at the bar just ended. I made so many tips which is super awesome!" I just can't handle his cute excitement. His innocent persona just makes me feel even worse about what I did.
We continued chatting, well mainly him. I kept thinking and replaying last night's events in my head. I slept with someone over a petty feeling of jealousy. A someone that isn't my boyfriend.
I heard sounds behind me, of the guy waking up and getting up. I ended the phone call abruptly without a word as to why. Then I ran out of the place.
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On my walk back to the hotel, I sent a quick text to Y/N, after seeing his calls and texts, wondering if I was all good and safe. I believe it was believable, because he told me to call him when available and to have a great day.
"What did I do? What did I do?" I rocked back and forth on the hotel room bed. Panic struck. I needed to call someone.
Oh my god, I have to search my name, there could be evidence. I found my laptop and searched my name, clicked to news. Scroll, scroll, nothing seen about it.
Next, call someone. I need to tell someone, otherwise I'm going to go crazy. "Hey girl, how's Paris?" I heard Courtney speaking on the other end.
"Just wait, adding others to the call." I quickly added Liz and Vic to the call. They answered and all said their hello's.
"Sorry, but usually conference calls are either talking about a future event or a current problem. So, I'm gonna guess, what's the problem?" Vic said.
This is where I tell them. Man, I'm going to look so bad through their eyes. It wasn't even good sex :( "I just came back to my hotel room." I said and hoped they could guess the rest.
"Okay, but isn't it kinda morning there?" Courtney asked.
I heard a choir of 'ohhhhhh's.
"You done fucked up." Vic said.
"Hey! I never said the rest yet." I told her.
"Do we need to hear it? You cheated on your boyfriend, right?" Liz said.
Courtney said, "Oh, I did not get that... How could you?!!!!" The sound was intense from her voice, which created pain sounds. "Oh, sorry for the loudness."
"I'm such a bad person." I unconsciously started crying over the phone call.
"Well, tell the full story sweetie." Vic told me.
I filled them in on all that happened. It was a lot to say and it took a lot of time. I was scared. This is a big time to judge me. I did something that is an enormous low blow.
"You have to tell him." All of them had said it.
"I know you don't want that but you do. He has to know." Courtney said.
I sighed and didn't want to accept the truth. "No, this was just one mistake. It's not in the news. He's happy. I can't hurt him.... I'll just keep him from knowing." I know it's wrong, but it has to be done.
"That's not how you do it. You're going to have so much guilt attacking you, until you explode and tell him when it's too late. Then he will hurt more. That dude is a saint. He's the best boyfriend you've ever had. He's the best guy I've ever known. I gotta go. Talk to me when your sane." Victoria said and broke off from the conference call.
Liz left too after saying she agreed with Vic. Then it was only Courtney and I. "You know how I feel about it. But I'll be there for you no matter what you do. Even the majorly idiotic choices." She said to me.
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I was on a call with Y/N. He was telling me about his day, with a very animated voice. The inner child was showing, it was adorable. "Annika left today, that sucks. But it was great to see her. Oh! She told me she's getting married! That's pretty shocking, she's around my age and making that big of a decision. Props to her I guess. It's awesome to have that strong of a love. I hope it works out too. You know the...." I was jealous for nothing.
"Y/N, I have to tell you something." I went silent after saying that. Y/N said he's all ears, ready to completely listen. Stop being perfect! The pause went almost too long, "I love you so much.... And I see you in my far future." Unless I crack and tell him.
"I see that too. I gotta say, Ariana Grande Butera, you make me the happiest person that I've ever been. I love you so much." Fuck. I can't tell him. This is going to my grave.
A/N: Please like & comment. Give me any feedback! Negative or positive. I am so thankful to all that have been reading this.
